


endless

by sxftmelody



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-04 22:03:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18352589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxftmelody/pseuds/sxftmelody
Summary: Veteran actress Jung Jinsol works alongside rookie actress Kim Jungeun in a lesbian movie about soulmates.





	endless

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the book ‘The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo’ and (slightly) the film ‘The Handmaiden'
> 
> now playing: half a man by dean lewis
> 
> [PLEASE NOTE!] there is a sexual scene in this one-shot, and i've marked the beginning and ends of it as '* * *'. please do not read if you are not comfortable with that. i've debated taking the scene out entirely but i think it adds to the plot.
> 
> also, for people who don't wanna read the death part: stop reading after the dinner with jungeun's mother

 

 

_**“After starring in so many romance movies, you must have a clear sense of what love is, right?”** _

 

_Well, I wouldn’t say **that** . I think… love is whatever you make it to be. Love isn’t **one thing** . You couldn’t possibly condense **all** of what it is into one… **thing** . Does that make sense? _

 

_**“Not quite. Do you mind going more into that?”** _

 

_Yeah! … Okay, for example: love to **you** might not mean the same thing as love to **me** . Everyone has different perceptions and ideas as to what love is. To try and come up with one definition for love is, in my personal opinion, **impossible** . _

 

_**“I see. Then, tell us, what is** **your** **definition of love?”** _

 

_Jung Jinsol is quiet for a moment, seriously pondering her answer to the question._

 

_Love, to me, is endless._

 

—

 

“Are you ready to get on set?”

 

“Yeah, just give me two seconds,” the blonde star replies, fixing up her makeup in the mirror.

 

“We _pay_ people to do your makeup, you know?”

 

“ _Hush_ , Sooyoung,” Jinsol replies as she rolls her eyes, “you pay people to make me look like a _clown_. I do my own makeup just fine.”

 

“Right,” Sooyoung lets out a huff as she holds the trailer door open, “well, hurry up. Everyone’s waiting for you.”

 

“Aren’t they always?” Jinsol mumbles under her breath rhetorically. She fixes up the red lipstick on her lips and then turns around, making her way out of the trailer. She squints her eyes as the bright sun beams down on them, “It’s the kiss scene today, right?”

 

“Right,” Sooyoung says as she shuts the door and walks besides Jinsol, “the kiss scene, the fight scene, and then the—”

 

“Sex scene,” Jinsol finishes for her, “yeah.”

 

“You’ve done all of those types of scenes before,” Sooyoung points out, “you’ll be fine.”

 

“I know I’ll be fine,” Jinsol grumbles, “but that doesn’t mean I **like** having these… _neanderthals_ kissing and…” she shudders, “ _touching_ me—even if it **is** for acting.”

 

“I think the one with light brown hair is sweet. _What was his name?_ ” Sooyoung says, eyebrows furrowing as she tries to think of his name.

 

“He’s sweet because he’s literally a newborn baby. I’m talking about the one playing my boyfriend,” Jinsol replies as they walk through the streets to get to their movie set.

 

“Isn’t the sweet one sixteen?”

 

“Yes, like I said, a newborn baby,” Jinsol huffs.

 

Sooyoung places a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder, squeezing it, “You’ll be fine. This is your last shoot! After this, you can rest.”

 

“ _Rest_?” Jinsol questions, “As my manager, you should know that after the shoot I have to—”

 

“I know—you have to go to the award ceremony and then—”

 

“And _then_ I have to audition—”

 

“Audition for _Lonely_ —yes, yes, Jinsol, I _know_ ,” Sooyoung says, releasing Jinsol’s shoulder as she notices the frown on the blonde girl’s lips, “I signed you up for the role. I _know_.”

 

“You know,” Jinsol repeats, “And yet…”

 

A moment of tense silence passes between them as they continue their way to the warehouse that the movie set is located within.

 

Jinsol speaks up again, “After this, I can’t rest.”

 

“What do you want me to say? Sorry?” Sooyoung raises an eyebrow, “You read the script and loved it. Did you want me to decline it? To pass up an opportunity for you to act in something you _actually_ think is worth your time?”

 

“ _No_ ,” Jinsol replies through gritted teeth. She closes her eyes and shakes her head, “Shit—I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get angry at you. I’m just—I’m exhausted and grumpy over _everything_ —over _this_.”

 

She gestures at the warehouse they’re approaching; the set she’d be spending the rest of her day shooting at.

 

Her eyes drop down to her slowing feet.

 

They stop walking. Jinsol turns to Sooyoung, but her eyes remain stuck to the ground, guilty.

 

“I didn’t mean to be a bitch to you, really. I’m sorry,” Jinsol lets out a deep breath, shoulders sagging.

 

“We’ve always been bitches to each other, Jinsol,” Sooyoung smiles at her, “It’s kind of why we work as best friends.”

 

Jinsol laughs slightly at this, looking up at Sooyoung.

 

She gives a light punch to Sooyoung’s shoulder, “Thanks.”

 

“No problem,” Sooyoung scrunches up her nose and then nods for them to enter the warehouse, “Let’s go?”

 

Jinsol hums and nods, “Let’s.”

 

-

 

Jinsol’s driver drops her off at her humble abode hours later.

 

When she enters the front door, she kicks off her shoes and heads immediately to her bedroom, tired out of her mind.

 

She’s in a zombie-like state as she shrugs out of her clothes and slips on comfortable pajamas, eyelids heavy. She considers taking a shower, but then thinks that she’d rather not risk falling asleep whilst showering.

 

She slides under her covers and closes her eyes, sleep coming to her easily.

 

—

 

The next day, Jinsol wins Best Supporting Actress.

 

She stands as applause rings out, a practiced smile on her face as she walks up to the stage.

 

She thanks the same people she’d been thanking for the past three years of her being in the industry; the crew, the directors, the writers, her fans, and Sooyoung. It’s brief and Jinsol forces herself to tear up just so she won’t seem so robotic up on the stage.

 

When she sits back down at her seat, her co-star hugs her and she leans into his hug for half-a-second (just to be friendly) and then sits down, the award in her lap.

 

She loses the Best Actress award to someone named Kim Jungeun. The name rings a bell in Jinsol’s brain, and the face is obviously one that deserves to be in the spotlight, but Jinsol’s never cared much for others in the business.

 

She claps politely for the actress who smoothly thanks her family and friends.

 

Jinsol stares at Jungeun from her seat, close enough to the stage to be able to look at Jungeun’s face in-person instead of through the large screen behind her.

 

 _‘She’s pretty,’_ Jinsol thinks to herself. And then Jungeun leaves the stage to go sit back down and Jinsol’s more concerned about what to have for dinner than she is about just another pretty face.

 

-

 

During one of the commercial breaks, Jinsol decides to head to the bathroom instead of socializing like the other people at the ceremony. As she leans back on the counter, she pulls her phone out and texts Sooyoung.

 

**[Soul]: can we please get burgers after i’m out?**

**[Soo]: I don’t think ur personal trainer will like that idea**

 

Jinsol frowns, texting a reply.

 

**[Soul]: my personal trainer isn’t here right now. sooo… are you in?**

 

When the bathroom door opens, her attention’s taken away from her phone and is placed on the woman who’d just walked in.

 

Kim Jungeun.

 

“Hey,” the brunette smiles.

 

“Hi,” Jinsol replies.

 

“Congratulations on the award, by the way,” Jungeun says. Jinsol half-expects Jungeun to keep talking, to mention her own award as a way to spite Jinsol, but she doesn’t.

 

Jinsol’s too used to the toxicity of the people she usually works with.

 

“Uhm, thanks,” Jinsol responds, snapping out of her thoughts, “you, too.”

 

“Thanks,” Jungeun clears her throat, and then points to one of the stalls, “I’m just going to…”

 

“ _Oh_! Yeah, no—go ahead,” Jinsol laughs embarrassedly.

 

Jungeun gives her another grin and then disappears into one of the stalls.

 

Jinsol stands there for a moment, biting her lip at their exchange.

 

Jungeun’s a new actress, Jinsol can tell just by her actions that she hasn’t been dirtied by the industry yet.

 

She hopes the girl stays kind.

 

When her phone buzzes, Jinsol looks back down.

 

**[Soo]: … Fine. But if she yells at you, it’s not my fault. Just get dropped off at my place and I’ll drive us.**

**[Soul]: can i wear some of your clothes?**

**[Soo]: Of course.**

**[Soul]: thanks! see you soon <3**

 

“Commercial time is ending soon,” Jungeun says, suddenly next to Jinsol again, washing her hands.

 

“What? Oh—I know,” Jinsol coughs, “I guess I should head back.”

 

Despite saying this, she doesn’t move an inch. Instead, she watches as Jungeun washes her hands and then reaches for the towel dispenser.

 

After drying her hands, Jungeun heads to the bathroom door and, instead of just leaving, she holds the bathroom door open and looks back at Jinsol with a smile on her lips, “Let’s go, then?”

 

“Thanks,” Jinsol ducks her head as she walks by Jungeun, her hair creating a barrier between them.

 

Though they walk down the hall together, they immediately split up once the stage is in sight and Jinsol can’t help but feel a little disappointed that that’s all their interactions would be for that night.

 

-

 

“Hey, Sooyoung?” Jinsol calls out as she sits cross-legged on the passenger side seat of Sooyoung’s car, fries and cheeseburger in her lap. They’re parked in the parking lot of McDonald’s with the radio playing lightly in the background.

 

“Yeah?” Sooyoung responds, sipping on her drink.

 

“Do you know anything about Kim Jungeun?”

 

“That’s a stupid question. Of course I know Kim Jungeun—who doesn’t?”

 

“Alright, no need to be _rude_ about it,” Jinsol huffs as she stuffs a fry into her mouth, “I was just asking.”

 

“Right. And _why_ were you asking?” Sooyoung questions, “You’ve never asked about... _anybody_ before.”

 

“Nothing, I just met her tonight. We ran into each other in the bathroom. She was nice, is all.”

 

“Is all,” Sooyoung repeats before she leans back against her seat and hums, “Kim Jungeun’s a newbie, but she’s one hell of an actress— _that’s_ for sure.”

 

“She won Best Actress tonight,” Jinsol states.

 

“I know,” Sooyoung smiles, “I was watching.”

 

“Well, how much of a newbie is she?”

 

“She’s only been in a couple of movies,” Sooyoung replies, “there’s not much to know about her, though. She kind of popped up out of nowhere. She doesn’t talk much about her private life, either.”

 

“You’ve clearly done your research,” Jinsol says with a bit of a teasing smile.

 

Sooyoung throws a fry at Jinsol’s face, hitting her in the cheek, “Shut up. It’s my job to know the people you might be interacting with in the future.”

 

“And you think I’m going to be interacting with her in the future?” Jinsol quirks an eyebrow, bringing her cheeseburger to her mouth.

 

“I _know_ you are,” Sooyoung replies, “she’s going to be your co-star in _Lonely_.”

 

“What?” Jinsol asks, mouth full.

 

“Ew,” Sooyoung grimaces.

 

Jinsol chews and then swallows.

 

“She’s going to be my co-star? She’s going to be Hyunjoo?”

 

“Yes—I told you this when I gave you the script to read,” Sooyoung says, “you never listen to me.”

 

“And by co-star, you mean she’s going to play my girlfriend?”

 

“Ex-girlfriend turned wife, actually,” Sooyoung corrects her before taking a bite out of her own cheeseburger.

 

Jinsol looks down at the food in her lap, unable to keep the smile off of her lips and to stop the hope building in her stomach.

 

“Nothing’s for sure confirmed,” Sooyoung says, “but it’s definitely seeming like they want her to play the part. But, I’m sure they want _you_ more than they want her, so if Jungeun playing the part bothers you then—”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Jinsol lets out a little too quick. She coughs and shakes her head, “She seems really sweet from the two seconds I interacted with her.”

 

“Seeming and being are two different things,” Sooyoung points out, “but we’ll see how the chemistry test goes.”

 

“Right. When is that, again?”

 

“Tomorrow.”

-

 

Jinsol’s been reading the script with various other actresses for nearly four hours by the time she hears the name ‘Kim Jungeun’ get dropped.

 

One of the interns knocks on the door in the middle of Jinsol doing one of her lines.

 

An awkward head peeks in, “Ma’am, Kim Jungeun’s here.”

 

“Oh, great,” the director, an elegant yet bright and bubbly lady named Sana Minatozaki, smiles. She clears her throat and tells the girl sitting across from Jinsol that she can go now, and it’s clear to everyone that she didn’t exactly get the part.

 

Once she leaves, it’s a couple minutes later that Jungeun enters the room.

 

“Hi, I’m so sorry I’m late, the interview ended up being a lot longer than I expected,” Jungeun says upon entering the room and closing the door behind her. Her eyes lock onto Jinsol’s, and if she’s surprised, she doesn’t show it.

 

“Nonsense! You’re here now and that’s all that matters,” Sana smiles before pointing to the seat across from Jinsol, “we’re starting from page one thirty-two.”

 

“Okay, cool,” Jungeun smiles brightly, sitting down and opening up her script to the correct page. She looks up at Jinsol and raises both of her eyebrows as a greeting, and it’s enough to make Jinsol smile back at her.

 

“You girls ready?”

 

“Yeah,” they reply.

 

-

 

“That was amazing,” Sana says immediately after Jinsol ends her last line, “that was better than amazing, that was _perfect_ . We _need_ you two to play Jisoo and Hyunjoo. You two are _it_.”

 

Jinsol’s eyes travel back to Jungeun, and Jungeun’s looking at her with amusement in her eyes.

 

“If I can have you two as the stars of my film, I’m sure we’ll win awards on top of awards. We’ll truly be able to get this story out there.”

 

“That sounds great to me,” Jungeun says, eyes still focused on Jinsol.

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol smiles, looking back at Sana because something about Jungeun’s eyes makes her nervous, “same here.”

 

-

 

As the two of them exit the room, Jinsol feels soft fingers curl around her wrist.

 

“Hey,” Jungeun calls out, pulling both of them to a stop in the middle of the hallway. Jinsol looks at her expectantly, and the same friendly smile that seems to always be on Jungeun’s lips widens, “I was thinking we could go for a celebratory dinner. Seeing as we both got the parts we wanted.”

 

“Right now?” Jinsol’s eyebrows lift.

 

Jungeun grins sheepishly, “Is right now not available for you? If not, that’s alright—”

 

“It’s fine,” Jinsol cuts her off, “I’m free. I didn’t drive here though so I don’t have a car…”

 

“That’s alright,” Jungeun’s embarrassed grin turns into a bright smile, “I drove here. We can take mine.”

 

They walk out of the building together.

 

Jinsol points out, “I’m not exactly in fancy dinner attire, though.”

 

Jungeun laughs and waves a hand dismissively, “Neither am I. Don’t worry. That’s not what I meant when I said we should get dinner. Fancy places aren’t my style.”

 

“Then what _is_ your style?” Jinsol questions.

 

“A local diner that’s just outside of the city,” Jungeun smiles, “best fries and shakes in the world, guaranteed.”

 

“In the _world_?” Jinsol chuckles, “That’s a pretty bold statement, Jungeun.”

 

“Hey, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe it,” Jungeun shrugs.

 

They head towards a small black car in the parking lot. Jungeun opens the passenger door for Jinsol and the blonde girl laughs (despite the blush on her cheeks) at Jungeun’s chivalry.

 

Once they’re on the road to the diner Jungeun’s suggested, Jinsol takes the time to text Sooyoung about her whereabouts.

 

In the middle of typing a text, she hears Jungeun speak up.

 

“You know, I watched _Blue_ last night,” she states.

 

Jinsol lowers her phone into her lap, disbelief in her tone as she asks, “Did you?”

 

 _Blue_ was Jinsol’s first ever movie that she played a major role in. She played the mermaid who tries to save her species from extinction.

 

“I did,” Jungeun nods, “it was sweet.”

 

“You think genocide is sweet,” Jinsol nods, feigning thoughtfulness, “noted.”

 

Jungeun laughs, “ _No_ , that’s not what I meant. I thought the fact that the character you played tried so hard to save the mermaids from going extinct was sweet. Even with the world against her, she tried so ridiculously hard. I even teared up during some parts.”

 

“ _Seriously_ ?” Jinsol laughs, “How’d you manage to tear up? _Blue_ was one of the first movies I’ve ever been in. My acting was _horrible_.”

 

“It was not,” Jungeun shakes her head as they stop at a traffic light. She turns her head to look at Jinsol, “it was a good movie, really.”

 

“Well, thank the writer—not me,” Jinsol looks out the window.

 

“Good actors and actresses make or break the script,” Jungeun says, pressing her foot on the gas as the light turns green.

 

Jinsol doesn’t have anything to say to that.

 

Instead, she says: “Speaking of scripts, what do you think of _Lonely_?”

 

“Hm…” Jungeun hums, tilting her head as she thinks about it, “to be honest, I didn’t like it the first time I read it.”

 

“What?” Jinsol responds, mostly because she herself had fallen in love with the script the very first read-through, “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun nods, “I didn’t like how wishy-washy the relationship between the two women was. It’s like—just get together or _leave_ , you know? All the back-and-forth turned me off.”

 

She’s got a point.

 

The couple in the script breaks it off multiple times before eventually wedding each other, but Jinsol personally thinks that all the trials and tribulations the couple goes through and yet they _still_ end up together shows just how powerful their love is.

 

“But then I realized how realistic the writing was,” Jungeun continues, “nothing’s ever black or white in the real world, as much as we want it to be. Couples deal with this sort of thing a lot… I think.”

 

“You _think_ ,” Jinsol repeats with a small smile.

 

Jungeun rolls her eyes playfully, “I don’t have much experience in the dating world, but from my knowledge of _other_ people’s love lives, that’s how it works.”

 

Jinsol lets out a chuckle, “You’re not wrong.”

 

“Am I not?” Jungeun grins, “Good, because I know _nothing_ about other people’s love lives.”

 

A laugh escapes Jinsol’s mouth without her even thinking about it. She shakes her head amusedly as she turns to stare at Jungeun, “You’re ridiculous.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

-

 

Upon entering the diner, Jungeun’s immediately greeted by an older man behind the front counter and they’re led to the booth at the far back corner.

 

It’s clear that Jungeun’s a regular here.

 

Sliding into the seat across from Jungeun, Jinsol watches as the old man ruffles Jungeun’s hair and she smiles at how comfortable they seem with each other.

 

“Ah, _okay_ , Gramps, that’s enough,” Jungeun swats away his hand, “this is Jinsol, a friend of mine.”

 

Once the attention’s turned to her, Jinsol smiles charmingly and holds out a hand to the man, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

 

The man takes Jinsol’s hand happily, “Oh! So pretty! Finally, Jungeun’s making friends. Pretty ones, too!”

 

“Gramps, just take our orders and _go_ ,” Jungeun groans.

 

Gramps laughs and nods, “Yes, yes. The usual for you, Jungeun, and for your friend…?”

 

Jinsol, unprepared, grins and shrugs, “I’ll have whatever Jungeun’s having. Thank you.”

 

“So polite, too!” Gramps smiles, “Drinks are on the house.”

 

“Water is just fine with me,” Jinsol says.

 

Gramps looks over to Jungeun, “Do you want your special lemonade?”

 

“Yes, please,” Jungeun rolls her eyes playfully.

 

“I’ll be back with those!” he says before turning around and heading off.

 

“Jeez,” Jungeun laughs, “he’s always like this with me.”

 

“It’s cute,” Jinsol comments, “you two are close?”

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun hums, “I worked here before becoming an actress.”

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Yep. I spent nearly all-day everyday here, working,” Jungeun says, “not one of my highest moments in life, but—you gotta do what you gotta do.”

 

“I get that,” Jinsol nods—except she doesn’t, because she was born into a wealthy family and even if her acting career had gone south, she’d have a soft bedding to fall back on—but she still nods.

 

“Anyway,” Jungeun grins, “I read one of the interviews you did recently.”

 

“Which one?” Jinsol questions, not to brag about how many interviews she’s done but because she’s genuinely curious as to which one Jungeun had read.

 

“The one about love, and the meaning of love,” Jungeun clarifies, “you said the meaning of love to you was endless.”

 

Jinsol leans back against her seat and scrunches up her nose, “I told them what they wanted to hear.”

 

“What?” Jungeun asks, confused. There’s a hint of disappointment in her voice.

 

“All of that love talk, about what it means and the _true meaning of love_...” Jinsol shrugs, “it doesn’t really mean anything to me.”

 

“Are you saying you don’t believe in love?”

 

Jinsol takes a moment to think about it, “No, not necessarily. I just don’t think love’s… what everyone _thinks_ it’s about.”

 

“And yet you star in all of these romance movies _about_ love,” Jungeun replies, as if she’s made a point.

 

“Acting is acting, sweetie,” Jinsol shoots back.

 

Jungeun crosses her arms and frowns as she stares at Jinsol.

 

…

 

“ _What_?” Jinsol asks after moments of them just staring at each other.

 

“I don’t believe you,”

 

“What don’t you believe?”

 

“I don’t believe that you don’t believe in love,” Jungeun says, “I mean—who _doesn’t_ believe in love?”

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t believe in it, I said that—”

 

“You’ve never been in love?”

 

“I never said _that_ either,” Jinsol huffs, feeling herself get defensive, “you’re getting into forbidden territory, Jungeun.”

 

Jungeun scoffs, though it’s not unkindly, and she raises her eyebrow, “Forbidden territory? Really?”

 

“If you don’t drop the topic about love then I _will_ walk right out of this diner,” Jinsol challenges.

 

Jungeun gives in, raising both of her hands in mock-surrender, “Fine, fine. No talking about love around Jung Jinsol. Noted.”

 

Jinsol lets out a small smile at Jungeun’s playfulness, but there’s still some tension in the air.

 

Gramps comes back with two drinks in his hands. He places them on the table, unknowing of the awkwardness. He smiles widely, “Here you go, girls! I’ll be back in a bit with your food.”

 

“Thank you,” Jinsol smiles politely.

 

When he leaves again, they’re left in a silence.

 

Jungeun lowers her hands, folding them on top of the table.

 

Jinsol raises an eyebrow and Jungeun sighs.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to corner you like that.”

 

Jinsol hums, “I can tell you meant no harm.”

 

“Could you?” Jungeun replies, guilt in her eyes, “I really didn’t mean to upset you.”

 

“You’re like a puppy, Jungeun. I don’t think it’s possible for you to willingly cause harm to someone else—unless you’re just a _really_ good actress.”

 

“No, I’m not _that_ good,” Jungeun jokes. Her smile softens, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

 

Jinsol smiles and shakes her head, “It’s fine.”

 

“I guess I just brought the topic up because, well, our characters are in… _love_ ,” Jungeun says with a chuckle, and then she shakes her head, “but if the topic’s off the table, then we can stop here.”

 

“Well, if we’re talking about the love between our _characters_ …” Jinsol raises her eyebrows for emphasis, “then I’m okay with talking about that.”

 

“Okay,” Jungeun smiles, “let’s talk about the scene that happens… between our characters… after their marriage.”

 

“The sex scene?” Jinsol asks with a small smile, “Yes, what about it?”

 

“I’ve never done a sex scene before,” Jungeun replies, scrunching up her nose, “but I know you have.”

 

“Ah,” Jinsol hums, “Sooyoung told me you were new to the industry.”

 

“Sooyoung?”

 

“My manager,” Jinsol replies, “and best friend.”

 

“Oh,” Jungeun says, “well, got any tips?”

 

“Well, it wouldn’t be any different than a heterosexual sex scene, I guess,” Jinsol shrugs, “everything’s very planned out. The director tells us to put _this_ hand on _that_ hip, to kiss a certain way, to do _this_ and _that_.”

 

She waves a dismissive hand, “It’s all scripted. It’s like a kiss scene but just with more kissing… and touching.”

 

“And less clothes,” Jungeun points out.

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol mumbles, “but don’t worry. I’m sure Sana will make sure we feel comfortable and if she doesn’t, Sooyoung sure as hell won’t just stand around and let us suffer.”

 

Jungeun laughs with a nod, “Alright. That makes me feel a bit better.”

 

“Were you worried?”

 

“Sort of,” Jungeun admits, “it’s my first sex scene, you know? And it’s a sex scene with another _girl_.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better, it’s my first sex scene with another girl, too,” Jinsol says, “I was a little reluctant on taking this movie up.”

 

“Because it’s—”

 

“Two orders of curly fries and bacon cheeseburgers!” An enthusiastic voice calls out as Gramps walks towards them with two trays in his hand. He sets them down in front of the girls and smiles, “Enjoy, kiddos.”

 

“Thank you,” Jinsol grins.

 

(She internally cringes because she _just_ had greasy food last night…)

 

Jungeun smiles, “Thanks, Gramps.”

 

The man reaches over and ruffles Jungeun’s hair, “Anytime.”

 

When he walks back to the counter, they continue with their conversation.

 

Jinsol nibbles on a fry.

 

Jungeun clears her throat, “So, you were reluctant because the movie’s LGBTQ?”

 

“That makes me sound… bad,” Jinsol winces, “but... yes, essentially. Sooyoung set me up with the script and thought that I’d be the perfect part but…”

 

“I get it,” Jungeun nods, “my manager thinks it’s a bad idea for me to take up the offer so early on in my career.”

 

“Hmm… do _you_ think it’s a bad idea?”

 

The question makes Jungeun take a couple of seconds to think about.

 

“I don’t know,” she answers after a few seconds, “I think that I’m too worried about what other people think, but at the same time, this career kind of _relies_ on what other people think.”

 

“I know what you mean, unfortunately,” Jinsol nods empathetically.

 

“I’ve worked super hard to get where I am today,” Jungeun says, before quickly talking once more, “not to say that other people haven’t worked hard, but… it’s just been a rough few years for me. I guess I’m just worried that this movie’s going to break me instead of make me.”

 

“It’s not going to break you,” Jinsol says with a shake of her head, “you’re talented, Jungeun... Besides, _I’m_ your co-star. That’s already a win.”

 

The blonde’s confidence makes Jungeun chuckle.

 

“Don’t worry,” Jinsol says comfortingly, “we’re going to make this movie great.”

 

“Thanks, Jinsol,” Jungeun hums, picking at her fries, “I’m glad we’re co-stars... And I’m glad you’re not a bitch.”

 

“You thought I was a bitch?”

 

“ _No_!” Jungeun is quick to defend herself, “I just—I met other people in the industry and they’re sort of—”

 

“Relax, Jungeun,” Jinsol laughs, “I was joking.”

 

“Dammit, Jinsol,” Jungeun huffs, stuffing a fry into her mouth, “I thought you were going to get me kicked off the movie for that.”

 

“No way,” Jinsol shakes her head, “and get stuck with some snobby, entitled mess? No, thank you.”

 

Jungeun smiles, tossing a fry at Jinsol.

 

Jinsol laughs and tries to catch it in her mouth, only to fail and for it to smack her cheek. The two girls giggle and end up tossing fries at each other to try and catch in their mouth.

 

(They fail every time.)

 

—

 

**[Jung Jinsol and Kim Jungeun Spotted at Cute Little Diner Together!]**

 

_The entertainment industry’s up-and-rising newcomer and steady veteran have been caught on an outing together at this cozy diner last night. The two stars were seen laughing and having comfortable conversation throughout their meal._

 

_[...]_

 

_The randomness of their friendship leaves all of us wondering: are they going to be co-stars in an upcoming show/movie?_

 

—

 

As soon as the director calls ‘Cut!’, Jinsol stops her sobs and wipes the tears rolling down her cheeks. Sooyoung’s next to her within seconds, handing her a tissue and walking with her offset.

 

“Good job,” she says, like she always does after Jinsol finishes a scene, “your crying always manages to make the people on-set tear up, you know?”

 

“So I’ve been told,” Jinsol lets out a laugh, sniffling as she uses the tissue to wipe at her nose, “God, I hate crying.”

 

“ _Everyone_ hates crying,” Sooyoung calls out, “but at least you’re almost done for the day.”

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol sighs, sitting down and taking the water bottle that Sooyoung holds out for her, “do you have my phone?”

 

“You left it in the trailer,”

 

“Damn,” Jinsol frowns, uncapping the bottle.

 

“Expecting a call?” Sooyoung asks with the tiniest grin.

 

“A _text_ ,” Jinsol narrows her eyes at Sooyoung’s teasing tone, “from Jungeun.”

 

“It’s great that you two are actually becoming friends,” Sooyoung’s smile grows. She leans in and lowers her voice, “you finally found a co-star you don’t hate!”

 

“Shut up,” Jinsol shoves her back with a laugh, “she’s… I like her, alright? She’s not like the other people I’ve worked with.”

 

“Right,” Sooyoung hums, “speaking of Jungeun, _Lonely_ is set to start filming next month.”

 

“So soon?” Jinsol asks before taking a sip of her water.

 

“They really want to get the movie done so they can release it,” Sooyoung says, “the table readings are in a couple weeks.”

 

Jinsol nods, “I’ll probably meet up with Jungeun sometime before then so we can discuss our parts.”

 

“Do you want me to plan a meeting with her?”

 

“No, that’s alright,” Jinsol shakes her head, “she and I can plan something ourselves.”

 

—

 

“Hey! Come in, come in,” Jinsol opens the front door wider and urges Jungeun into her home. She frowns when she notices the pouring rain outside but feels a bit relieved when she sees that Jungeun’s not completely soaked to the bone.

 

“Thanks,” Jungeun smiles, shuffling in and taking off her shoes.

 

She slides them next to shelf full of Jinsol’s own shoes. There’s the script of _Lonely_ in her right hand and a brown paper bag in the other.

 

She holds up the bag with a twinkle in her eyes, “I got the food.”

 

Jinsol laughs as she closes and locks the door, “Pot stickers!”

 

“Pot stickers,” Jungeun nods.

 

“Here, let’s go to the kitchen,” Jinsol leads the way, pulling out plates and chopsticks as Jungeun sets the bag on the counter and starts pulling out the various containers of food.

 

“Your place is really nice,” Jungeun comments as they both sit down at the counter side-by-side. She looks around Jinsol’s home, cheeks stuffed with an eggroll.

 

“Yeah?” Jinsol asks, looking around her own place as well.

 

“It’s huge,” Jungeun points out, “very spacious.”

 

“It’s… unnecessarily huge for one person, I know” Jinsol says, nodding, “but I don’t spend much time home, anyway, so…”

 

Jungeun takes note of the lack of pictures on the walls. Even though Jinsol’s home is large and sufficiently furnished, something about it feels _empty_.

 

She turns her gaze back towards Jinsol, heart skipping a beat when she finds that Jinsol’s already staring at her. She blinks, “What?”

 

“You seemed to find something about my wall _very_ intriguing,” Jinsol chuckles before stuffing another pot sticker into her mouth.

 

Jungeun scrunches up her nose and opts not to say anything else, not wanting to overstep any boundaries by commenting on her observation.

 

The two continue to eat their late-lunch/early-dinner until they’re both full.

 

They settle on the couch in the living room afterwards, facing each other. Jinsol has her legs tucked underneath her whilst Jungeun’s knees are pulled up to her chest. They open up to the first page of the script and Jinsol clears her throat.

 

“Wait, I’m not in this scene,” Jungeun says.

 

“Oh, right,” Jinsol giggles, “let’s just skip to the scenes that we’re _both_ in.”

 

-

 

_“Hey, how are you, Hyunjoo?”_

 

_“I’m fine.”_

 

_“I didn’t peg you to be a party girl.”_

 

_“I’m not.”_

 

 _“I don’t mean to alarm you, then, but… you’re at a_ **_party_ ** _.”_

 

_“I know I’m at a party, Jisoo. I’m not an idiot.”_

 

_“Ah, were you dragged here by someone?”_

 

_A hum, “By my girlfriend.”_

 

 _“_ **_Oh_ ** _...”_

 

Jinsol looks down at her wrist, where a red bracelet would be tied. The same bracelet that Jungeun would have on her wrist.

 

 _“Don’t… don’t_ **_do_ ** _that.”_

 

_“Do what?”_

 

 _“_ **_That_ ** _. We broke up for a reason.”_

 

_“Right.”_

 

_“You know we broke up for a reason.”_

 

_“Right.”_

 

_“...”_

 

_“...”_

 

_“Look, I’ll see you later, Jisoo.”_

 

_“Alright.”_

 

Jungeun flips to the next page, humming as she does so. The acted-out tension between the two girls dissipates as soon as the conversation between their characters end.

 

“And then it says here that I walk away and Jisoo—”

 

“—stares lovingly and painfully at Hyunjoo’s retreating figure,” Jinsol finishes for her. They both chuckle and start to turn the page to the next scene they’re in together.

 

“Jisoo and Hyunjoo really do take a while to get their shit together,” Jungeun grumbles, “it’s admirable, I guess.”

 

“They’re soulmates, Jungeun,” Jinsol points out before tapping on her wrist, “they’re **literally** bounded together.”

 

“The red bracelets on their wrists are a nice twist to the red string of fate,” Jungeun says.

 

“Even better that only soulmates can see the bracelet on each other’s wrists,” Jinsol grins as she looks up from her script. She then continues to turn the pages, “Where’s our next scene?”

 

Jungeun snorts and tells her the correct page before they continue practicing.

 

-

 

“Phew!” Jinsol closes the script and flops it onto the coffee table, “Finished!”

 

Jungeun sets her script down much more gently than Jinsol as she lets out a chuckle. Thunder booms from outside and it causes the pair to jolt.

 

Jungeun scrunches up her nose as she stares out one of Jinsol’s large windows lined along the living room’s wall, “The storm hasn’t finished, though.”

 

Jinsol hums, staring out the window as well, “It’s a bad one... Hey, you drove here, right?”

 

“Yeah, my car’s out front,”

 

“On a scale from one to ten, how comfortable would you be driving in this weather?” Jinsol gestures outside.

 

“Uhm…”

 

“Be honest,”

 

“A two.”

 

“I figured,” Jinsol smiles, “you can stay here for the night.”

 

“No, really, it’s—”

 

“Jungeun, don’t fight me on this,” Jinsol warns lightly, getting up from the couch and stretching, “besides, I have all these leftovers from earlier. I can’t eat all of them by myself!”

 

Jungeun, still sat on the couch, laughs and nods, “Alright. Only if you’re okay with this.”

 

“There’s more than enough room for you here, Jungeun. Don’t be silly,” she lowers her outstretched arms and points her thumb over her shoulder, “do you want to take a shower, or something? I can lend you my clothes.”

 

Jungeun smiles, standing from the couch, “Are you usually this welcoming to visitors?”

 

“I think you overestimate the amount of visitors I have, Jungeun,” Jinsol snorts before playfully jabbing her pointer finger into Jungeun’s left shoulder, “I’ll bring you some pajamas and a towel.”

 

“Alright,” Jungeun nods, watching Jinsol disappear down the hall. She stands there for a moment, listening to Jinsol opening up her bedroom door and then listening to her open up a drawer. Jungeun starts down the hall and stops at the entrance of Jinsol’s room, looking around the (empty) baby blue walls.

 

Jinsol looks up from the drawer of clothes, “Would you rather sleep in shorts or sweatpants?”

 

“Sweats,” Jungeun answers. She notes the awards lined on her bookshelf.

 

Jinsol pulls out grey sweatpants and a baggy white shirt. She bumps the drawer close with her hip and then hands out the clothes to Jungeun, “There are extra towels in the bathroom’s closet. Feel free to use whatever soaps or shampoos I have in there.”

 

“Thanks,” Jungeun grins, taking the shirt and pants before turning on her heel.

 

-

 

Jungeun exits the bathroom with semi-wet hair (she’d tried drying it as best as she could with the towel). She can hear the TV in the living room on, and she heads towards the noise.

 

She spots Jinsol sitting on the couch with a fluffy blanket over her lap.

 

“What are you doing?” Jungeun blinks, and then she sees what’s playing on the TV and she gasps. She launches herself towards the couch and reaches for the remote in Jinsol’s hand, “Turn that **off**!”

 

“No!” Jinsol laughs, keeping the remote out of Jungeun’s reach, “It seems like a cute movie!”

 

“Jinsol!” Jungeun whines, sprawled across Jinsol’s lap. She’s still trying to grab at the remote, but Jinsol’s arms are much lengthier than her own.

 

“Why? You watched _Blue_ , am I not allowed to watch your first film?”

 

“ _Blue_ wasn’t your first film, though!” Jungeun groans, giving up and burying herself face-down onto the couch. She feels Jinsol’s arms rest against her back, a hand patting her comfortingly.

 

“I’m not going to make fun of you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jinsol says, “we all have to start from somewhere.”

 

Jungeun continues laying limp across Jinsol’s lap, letting out a grunt as a response.

 

Jinsol laughs loudly and pauses the movie, “After this, we can watch my first film together.”

 

Jungeun sits up, “Really?”

 

“I was a child in my first movie,” Jinsol states, “I wasn’t a major character, but we can watch the movie for my one scene.”

 

“Deal,” Jungeun nods.

 

Jinsol lifts the blanket up and nods for Jungeun to get next to her.

 

Once they’re both settled, shoulder-to-shoulder, Jinsol resumes the film.

 

-

 

“Are you sleepy?” Jinsol’s voice calls out. Jungeun barely registers it because, _yes_ , she **is** sleepy.

 

Her head’s resting on Jinsol’s shoulder, so Jinsol can feel Jungeun nodding her answer.

 

“You can take my bed,” Jinsol says as she turns the TV off, “I was planning on sleeping out here on the couch.”

 

“No,” Jungeun lets out tiredly, “I can take the couch.”

 

She starts to lay down, but Jinsol loops her arm around Jungeun’s waist.

 

“My _bed_ , Jungeun,” she says firmly, though her voice is riddled with tiredness, too.

 

“It’s too far,” Jungeun mumbles, “you go, I stay.”

 

“Don’t make me carry you,” Jinsol warns.

 

“You’re going to drop me,” Jungeun groans, still trying to lie down.

 

She suddenly has an idea. She grabs onto the arm that Jinsol’s using to keep her up and drags the blonde down into a lying position with her, essentially making it so that Jinsol’s spooning her.

 

“There,” Jungeun mumbles, “sleep.”

 

“Seriously…” Jinsol murmurs, shaking her head and letting out a small chuckle of disbelief.

 

Jungeun’s eyes sleepily fall shut.

 

She’s much too sleepy to be concerned over the fact that Jinsol’s body is pressed against her own.

 

All she knows is that she’s warm and comfortable and **tired**.

 

—

 

The first table reading goes by without many hitches. Most of the mistakes made by Jungeun and Jinsol were during scenes in which it wasn’t just the two of them.

 

Scenes with just Jisoo and Hyunjoo were scenes that went by remarkably. It’s clear that the two girls have a lot of chemistry with each other, and the meetings they’d have with each other over the past couple of weeks definitely helped with it.

 

“I think I’m going to enjoy filming this movie very much,” Sana says as people begin to stand from the table.

 

Jinsol catches Jungeun’s eyes from across the table and she winks at her, causing Jungeun to chuckle and look away.

 

When Jinsol fishes her phone out of her pocket and checks her notifications, she sees a missed call from an unknown number. She frowns, debating whether or not to call the number back.

 

She clicks on the notification.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Uhm,” Jinsol stuffs her script into her purse and then hurries out the room to get away from all the commotion. She waves a subtle goodbye to Jungeun and nods towards the director just before she exits into the hallway, “I’ve received a missed call from this number...”

 

“Name, please?”

 

“Jung Jinsol,” Jinsol answers, walking further down the hall.

 

“Ah, yes,” the person on the other line says, “you were the emergency contact for Jo Haseul.”

 

“Pardon?” Jinsol freezes, heart skipping a beat.

 

“Jo Haseul has your number on her emergency contacts,”

 

“What happened to her?”

 

“She’s been in surgery for about two hours now. She was in a car accident.”

 

“Oh God,” Jinsol whispers, looking around and then ducking her head, “I’m on my way.”

 

She ends the call and then immediately phones Sooyoung.

 

“Hey, Jinsol—”

 

“Sooyoung, I need you to bring me to the hospital.”

 

“What?” Sooyoung asks, immediately going into panic-mode, “What happened? Are you hurt? Are you okay?”

 

"I’m fine, I’m fine,” Jinsol shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling to keep her tears at bay. She’s worried about Haseul. She’s **so** worried about Haseul, “Haseul’s in the hospital and they called me and… and I just need to go see her. Like, _now_.”

 

“What…?” Sooyoung mumbles, “Haseul? Ex-girlfriend Haseul?”

 

“Sooyoung, _please_ ,” Jinsol snaps, closing her eyes tightly because she can feel an oncoming migraine, “can you please just come pick me up and bring me to the damn hospital?”

 

“Hospital?” a voice rings out from behind Jinsol.

 

Jinsol turns around and widens her eyes when she sees Jungeun.

 

“Is everything alright?” Jungeun asks.

 

Jinsol quickly hangs up on Sooyoung and clears her throat, blinking rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes, “What? Yeah. I’m fine. It’s fine… my friend’s just—”

 

“Do you need a ride?” Jungeun offers, holding up her car keys.

 

“Really?” Jinsol’s eyes widen.

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun hums, “you seem… _stressed_ right now.”

 

Jinsol gulps, “A ride would be nice.”

 

“Alright,” Jungeun says before the two of them hurry down the hall together.

 

Jinsol sends Sooyoung a quick text telling her not to come and that she already has a ride. She feels Jungeun press a gentle, comforting hand on her back and it keeps her grounded as her thoughts start to fly every which way.

 

Once they reach Jungeun’s car, Jungeun opens the passenger door for Jinsol and then jogs over to the driver side.

 

The ride is silent.

 

Jinsol’s hands are shaking in worry so she interlocks them tightly in her lap, legs bouncing worriedly.

 

“Hey,” Jungeun calls out, reaching a hand over and gently wrapping her fingers around Jinsol’s left wrist, “we’ll be there soon, I promise.”

 

“I know, I know,” Jinsol replies, closing her eyes and trying to focus on the thumb that’s moving back and forth on her skin, “I’m just worried. All they said was that she’d been in a car accident and that she’s in surgery right now.”

 

Jungeun nods, “We’ll be there soon.”

 

Jinsol bites her lips, and feels Jungeun’s hand lower so their fingers intertwine.

 

It calms Jinsol down the tiniest bit.

 

-

 

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Jungeun asks as she enters the hospital’s parking area.

 

“What? No, no, it’s okay, you don’t have to—”

 

“If you want me to, I will,” Jungeun says seriously. She finds a parking spot and pulls into it.

 

Jinsol thinks about Haseul, and then shakes her head.

 

“No, it’s seriously okay, but thank you so much,” Jinsol leans over and hugs Jungeun tightly, “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

 

“It’s no problem, Jinsol,” Jungeun smiles as Jinsol pulls away, “go and see your friend. Text me if you need anything.”

 

“Alright,” Jinsol nods before heading out of the car.

 

-

 

“Miss Jo is in room two twenty-one,” the lady at the front desk tells Jinsol, “she just got out of surgery.”

 

“Thank you,” Jinsol says, ignoring the people recognizing her and hurrying down the hall. She couldn’t be bothered to hide her face right now.

 

Her main goal is getting to Haseul and seeing if she’s alright.

 

Upon opening the door, Jinsol feels her stomach drop. The steady beep of the heart monitor does nothing to calm Jinsol’s own racing heart as she closes the door behind her and walks towards Haseul’s bandaged body.

 

Her left leg is casted, as is her right arm. Bandages are wrapped around Haseul’s head and Jinsol doesn’t bother holding back her tears. She wraps her own arms around her body and covers her face with her hands.

 

-

 

When Haseul wakes up a few hours later, Jinsol’s sat on a chair next to her bed.

 

Jinsol’s on her phone, texting Sooyoung/Jungeun, when the bed sheets ruffle.

 

She looks up instantly, “Haseul?” she calls out as she puts her phone away. She leans closer to the bed as Haseul lets out a groan.

 

Jinsol reaches to press the red button attached to the side of Haseul’s bed, calling for the doctor.

 

“What…?” Haseul murmurs.

 

“Don’t move,” Jinsol says worriedly, standing.

 

Haseul looks over, only just realizing that someone’s with her, “Jinsol?”

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol whispers.

 

The doctor enters the room a second later.

 

Jinsol takes the moment to excuse herself and heads out into the hallway.

 

She calls Jungeun, who picks up immediately.

 

“Hey, is everything alright?” Jungeun asks.

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol replies, “Haseul just woke up. The doctor’s in there with her right now.”

 

“That’s good,” Jungeun says, “and you? Are you okay?”

 

“Uhm…” Jinsol mumbles, “it’s complicated.”

 

Jungeun lets out a small hum, “This Haseul…”

 

“Jungeun…” Jinsol lets out warningly.

 

“Is she the forbidden territory?”

 

A wet chuckle leaves Jinsol’s lips, “Yeah… yeah, she’s the forbidden territory.”

 

“Alright,” Jungeun laughs gently, “I won’t ask. I’m glad she’s okay, though, and I’m glad you’re okay, even if it _is_ complicated.”

 

“Thank you,” Jinsol whispers. She looks up when the door opens and out walks the doctor. Jinsol smiles at her and then, “Jungeun, I’m gonna go back in and talk to Haseul. I’ll talk to you later?”

 

“Sure,” Jungeun replies, “bye.”

 

“Bye,” Jinsol murmurs and then hangs up. She takes a deep breath before entering the room.

 

Haseul’s in a sitting position now, her injured leg resting up on a pillow.

 

“Hey,” Jinsol says quietly.

 

Haseul smiles, but it’s more of a sad smile, “I meant to take you off of my emergency contacts a while ago but…”

 

“It’s alright, Haseul, really,” Jinsol shakes her head, sitting down on the chair next to the bed.

 

Haseul lets out a shaky breath and nods.

 

Jinsol bites her lip, “What’d the doctor say?”

 

“That I’d be in here for the rest of the week so they can keep track of me,” Haseul answers before pointing to her head, “I’ve got a concussion.”

 

Jinsol frowns, “Does… does it hurt a lot?”

 

“Sort of,” Haseul grunts, “I’m okay though.”

 

…

 

“Jinsol,”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You don’t have to stay here with me, you know?”

 

“What?”

 

“You…” Haseul takes a second to think of her words, “I know you’re a busy person, so—”

 

“Stop,” Jinsol cuts her off, “I’m here because I want to be.”

 

Haseul rolls her eyes, “You’re here because I couldn’t take you off my emergency contacts.”

 

“So what?” Jinsol replies, “I’m here now.”

 

Haseul looks away, “Yeah, you are.”

 

…

 

“Are you hungry? I can go get you some food?”

 

“That’d be nice,” Haseul smiles, looking towards Jinsol.

 

“Okay,” Jinsol gets up from her chair and squeezes Haseul’s uninjured hand gently, “I’ll be right back.”

 

-

 

Jinsol helps Haseul back into her tiny apartment once she’s released from the hospital, despite the girl telling her repeatedly that she doesn’t need Jinsol’s help.

 

Once Haseul’s sat on her couch, Jinsol huffs.

 

“Are you hungry?”

 

“ _Jinsol_ ,” Haseul sighs, “you don’t have to do all of this.”

 

Jinsol frowns, “What do you mean?”

 

“I _mean_ —” Haseul cuts herself off. She exhales deeply, “you’re not my girlfriend anymore. You don’t have to act like you are.”

 

“That’s not what I’m—”

 

“It is,” Haseul says, “we’re not together. We haven’t been together for years now.”

 

Jinsol sits down next to Haseul, her frown deepening as the space between her eyebrows crinkles, “Just because we aren’t dating anymore doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, Haseul. You were just in a _car accident_ , for Christ’s sake.”

 

Haseul scrunches up her nose, “I’m fine though.”

 

“You have a concussion, a broken leg, and a broken arm,” Jinsol states, “if you won’t let me worry about you as a girlfriend, then at least let me worry about you as a friend. We were friends before we dated, _if you even remember_.”

 

“Of course I remember,” Haseul rolls her eyes. Their sass is enough to pull a smile from both of them.

 

Jinsol stares at Haseul, and finds it oddly comforting how her heart doesn’t start racing as she runs her gaze over Haseul’s sharp features.

 

“Is that okay, then?” Jinsol asks gently, “For us to be friends?”

 

“Are you asking me for permission?”

 

“Yes,” Jinsol says, “we didn’t exactly break up on good terms, so…”

 

“Three years is a lot of time to heal, Jinsol,” Haseul points out, her voice softening.

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol agrees, “I can’t believe it’s been that long already.”

 

Haseul sucks her teeth, “No one believes me when I tell them that I used to date a movie-star.”

 

“You’re kidding,” Jinsol laughs loudly, shaking her head, “Haseul, you—”

 

Haseul giggles, and then winces because her head starts to hurt. She groans and closes her eyes, leaning her head back onto the couch.

 

“Well… if you’re going to take care of me as a _friend_ , then…”

 

Jinsol stares as Haseul keeps her eyes closed.

 

“I won’t stop you.”

 

…

 

Haseul peeks one eye open, looking at Jinsol who still hasn’t replied to her.

 

“What are you waiting for?” Haseul asks, “I’m hungry.”

 

At this, Jinsol breaks out into a wide smile.

 

She stands from the couch, feeling her chest expand with happiness.

 

“Then I’ll go make you some food.”

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

“Hey,” Jungeun greets Jinsol as they walk onto set together, “you’ve kind of been M.I.A recently.”

 

“I know,” Jinsol replies with a wince, “I’m sorry…”

 

“No need to apologize,” Jungeun smiles, “as long as you’re okay…?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Jinsol answers, shaking her head.

 

“And Haseul…?”

 

“She’s fine, too,” Jinsol says, and then Sana tells the two girls to come over and suddenly everything’s strictly-business.

 

-

 

They film a lot of the scenes located in Hyunjoo/Jisoo’s small apartment, except for the sex scene.

 

“We’ll save that scene for a later date,” Sana says, “once you two are more comfortable with each other.”

 

Jinsol nods and looks over to Jungeun, who just smiles at her as one of the makeup artists dabs at her tear-stained cheeks.

 

They’d just finished filming one of their fighting scenes, where Hyunjoo complains about never seeing Jisoo, spiralling them into a much larger argument.

 

Jungeun’s character (Hyunjoo) does a lot more crying than Jinsol’s, but just seeing Jungeun sob right in front of her makes it hard for Jinsol _not_ to feel like crying.

 

Jisoo’s supposed to seem cold-hearted, so Jinsol had to blink away her tears and remain in character for the remainder of the shooting.

 

They’d already filmed a kiss scene, _multiple_ kiss scenes in which Hyunjoo and Jisoo peck each other on the lips casually.

 

This would be during their lovey-dovey scenes, where everything is perfect between them.

 

(Jungeun’s lips are soft, of course they are.)

 

Jinsol tries not to overthink anything because this is just another job, but when Hyunjoo hugs Jisoo from behind and kisses her ear, it’s also _Jungeun_ hugging and kissing _Jinsol_.

 

It’s hard _not_ to feel chills run down your spine.

 

(Jinsol ignores the fact that she’s not felt like this before despite having done much more heated scenes.)

 

“Okay!” the director claps her hands two times to gather everyone’s attention, “Let’s head to the beach for the proposal scene.”

 

Jungeun jogs over to where Jinsol is.

 

“Hey, I’m gonna take my car, wanna come with?”

 

Jinsol looks up from her phone and nods, “Yeah, sure.”

 

She gathers her bag and follows Jungeun out of the warehouse that their set was built in.

 

Jungeun, as always, opens the passenger door for Jinsol with a grin.

 

“Thanks,” Jinsol laughs as she slides into the car.

 

-

 

As soon as Jinsol slips the ring onto Jungeun’s finger and stands up, Jungeun’s body collides with her own. Following the script, Jinsol wraps both arms around Jungeun’s waist and spins her, causing both girls to squeal and giggle happily—and it’s not just because they’re in character.

 

When the spinning slows down and Jungeun’s feet meet the sand again, Jinsol feels Jungeun’s hands on either sides of her neck and suddenly Jungeun’s lips are on hers.

 

 _This isn’t in the script… wait—_ **_wait_ ** _—this_ **_isn’t in the script_ **.

 

Ignoring the rising panic, Jinsol kisses Jungeun  back, trying to stay in-character despite her pounding heart. They pull away from the kiss at the same time, both smiling as if they really are a couple in love that’d just gone through a successful proposal.

 

“Cut!”

 

Jinsol detaches herself from Jungeun, standing still as make-up artists rush to fix any makeup that needs fixing. Sana hurries towards them.

 

“That kiss?” she says before giving two thumbs-up and a wide smile, “Amazing! You two are so great together—the kiss was so natural! Gosh, this movie’s going to be a _hit_.”

 

Jinsol’s mind is still reeling, but when she sees Jungeun give her a tiny smile, she wonders how it’s possible for someone to make her feel so anchored and yet so unhinged at the same time.

 

—

 

**[Jung Jinsol and Kim Jungeun Caught Making Out on the Beach! New Movie?]**

 

 _The new besties who had been caught on a cute dinner date a few months ago have now been caught_ **_kissing_ ** _on sandy shores yesterday._

 

_Apparently Miss Jung had gotten down on one knee and professed her love for Jungeun!_

 

_Talk about moving fast!_

 

_Just kidding. There was a whole film crew there, so it’s clear that they’re filming something new!_

 

 _Whatever it is, I’m sure_ **_everyone’s_ ** _looking forward to it._

 

_—_

 

“We were _not_ making out,” Jinsol scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief at the article she’s reading on her phone, “click-bait is so annoying…”

 

Sooyoung, who’s driving Jinsol to set, snorts, “I’m sure they’re just happy to see you two filming together.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Jinsol mumbles, scrolling down to the comments and biting her lip. She tries to ignore the lewd ones and the blatantly homophobic ones, but they’re hard to just scroll by.

 

She decides to lock her phone and set it face-down on her lap.

 

Sooyoung glances at her, “What’s up?”

 

“Nothing,” Jinsol replies.

 

“You’re pouting,” Sooyoung points out, “why the pout?”

 

“It’s stupid…”

 

“Try me.”

 

“Do you think…” Jinsol hesitates, biting her lip nervously.

 

Sooyoung waits.

 

Jinsol sighs, “Do you think Jungeun’s…”

 

“Gay?”

 

“No— _well_ ,” Jinsol stammers, “I mean—do you think Jungeun’s alright with being _perceived_ as gay?”

 

Sooyoung frowns, “She’s _willingly_ acting in a movie about a lesbian couple.”

 

“I _know that_ ,” Jinsol groans, “but acting as a character is different. There’s just… there are a lot of comments about how she seems… _gay_. And comments that say that we’re dating.”

 

Sooyoung shrugs, “This happens every time you do a romance, Sol. It’s nothing new. It’s just with a girl this time.”

 

“But that **_is_ ** _new_ , Soo,” Jinsol huffs out in frustration, “people can be _mean—_ I know from experience how mean people can get and I... I just don’t want Jungeun to get backlash so early on in her career.”

 

“Hey,” Sooyoung’s voice softens upon hearing Jinsol barely able to choke out her words. She reaches over and takes Jinsol’s hand in hers, her eyes staying on the road but her face has turned slightly towards Jinsol’s direction, “Jungeun came into this industry on her own accord. I’m sure she knows the cons of being in it. She’s a smart girl, Jinsol. She’ll be okay.”

 

Jinsol lets out a deep, shaky breath. She nods and squeezes Sooyoung’s hand.

 

“You’re right… you’re right.”

 

She stares out the window.

 

 _I_ **_really_ ** _hope you’re right._

 

—

 

Jungeun’s laying down on Jinso’s couch when Jinsol comes back with a box of pizza in her hands.

 

It’s another one of their rehearsal nights (except at this point they don’t really rehearse and are just enjoying each other’s company).

 

It’s been nearly a month since the start of shooting for _Lonely_ , and Jungeun and Jinsol have spent an increasing amount of time together (onset _and_ offset).

 

“Are you sleeping?” Jinsol asks quietly, peeking over the couch.

 

Jungeun groans and sits up, “No,” she replies, hair messy and eyes half-closed, “but I _almost_ fell asleep.”

 

Jinsol smiles. She reaches out to ruffle Jungeun’s hair and brings the pizza box to the coffee table.

 

As soon as Jinsol sits down next to Jungeun, Jungeun’s head finds its way to her shoulder, both arms wrapping around Jinsol’s side.

 

“You’re like a koala,” Jinsol comments with a fluttering inside of her. She gets a piece of pizza for Jungeun and holds it up to Jungeun’s lips, “Say ‘ah’,” she cooes, as if Jungeun’s a baby.

 

Jungeun takes a bite of the pizza and hums contently before burying her face into Jinsol’s shoulder once again. With the way her cheeks are smooshed against Jinsol, Jinsol can feel the girl chewing. She stifles a giggle.

 

“They’re going to release the trailer soon,” Jungeun says sleepily.

 

“Huh? Already?” Jinsol asks, eyes focused on the TV in front of her.

 

She feels a hand on her wrist. Jungeun pulls the pizza towards her lips once more, biting, chewing, and then responding.

 

“We have most of the movie done, Jinsol,” Jungeun says with a little laugh, “we just have to film a few more scenes.”

 

Jinsol finds herself immediately thinking of the sex scene—and Jungeun knows this because she feels Jinsol tense up. She taps Jinsol’s thigh once.

 

“ _Hey_ , you told me before that sex scenes are very scripted,” Jungeun points out, referring to the first time they went out to dinner together, “we’ll be fine.”

 

“Just because they’re scripted doesn’t mean they’re not nerve-wracking,” Jinsol mumbles, “I’ve never had to film with a girl before.”

 

“First time for everything, right?” Jungeun smiles, tilting her head to look at Jinsol from her position on her shoulder. Jinsol only spares a quick glance at Jungeun (because she knows she wouldn’t be able to last anything longer).

 

“We should talk about how we’re going to do things,” Jinsol says, “are you okay with being naked on camera? Because if not, we can use the blanket to cover you up or put—”

 

“I’m okay,” Jungeun says, “but how are we going to show… or _act out_ us actually having sex? Do we… Do we actually…?”

 

“No,” Jinsol shakes her head, face burning up, “no, we don’t actually have sex. I mean—some people _do_ , but—no, we don’t have to. In my past sex scenes, we’d tape the guy’s thing down and it was just very uncomfortable thrusting that wasn’t really anything sexual.”

 

“But we don’t have anything to _tape down_ ,” Jungeun points out with a snicker.

 

“I know,” Jinsol murmurs. She takes her script off the table and hands her pizza to Jungeun. Jinsol flips through the script, careful not to get any grease on it.

 

She reads and reads through the sex-scene, which takes up nearly two pages, and hums, “there’s nothing _too_ specific about how they have sex. Most of this is emotional love. Just a lot of eye-contact and small kisses and hand-holding.”

 

“That’s not _sex_ , though,” Jungeun says, taking another bite of the pizza as she looks over Jinsol’s shoulder to read the script as well, “Are we gonna cover our vaginas?”

 

“We could,” Jinsol replies, “would that make you more comfortable?”

 

“It’d probably make me _less_ comfortable,” Jungeun laughs. She holds the pizza up to Jinsol’s lips and watches as the girl takes a bite.

 

“We can always just figure out the details when we shoot,” Jinsol mumbles, closing the script and tossing it back onto the table, “let’s just watch movies and worry about our sex scene later.”

 

Jungeun laughs, leaning back into Jinsol’s embrace as the taller girl gets more comfortable on the couch.

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

-

 

When Jungeun inevitably ends up falling asleep on the couch with Jinsol’s arms wrapped around her, Jinsol lays awake with a wandering mind and a racing heart.

 

She stares at the TV screen in front of her, but doesn’t register anything that’s happening in the movie because she’s so caught up in her thoughts. All of her thoughts revolve around the brunette softly snoring in her arms.

 

Jinsol thinks about how close she and Jungeun have gotten, thinks about how there isn’t a day that goes by where Jungeun doesn’t cross her mind, and she thinks about how she’s starting to pick up on the little things Jungeun does; like how she plays with the ring on her index finger or how she pouts when she’s focused.

 

Jinsol thinks, and she thinks, and she _thinks_.

 

And with every thought that she has, Jinsol keeps coming back to the same conclusion she’s been wanting to avoid...

 

She’s falling for Jungeun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_'cause i'm a sinking ship that's burning / so let go of my hand_ **

**_and how can i give you all of me / when i'm only half a man_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sana is serious when she speaks to Jungeun and Jinsol about the sex scene, which is very different compared to how hyper and bubbly she usually is.

 

“In order to make you girls as comfortable as possible, I can limit everything down to one female sound recorder in the room with everything else being remote controlled.”

 

Jungeun looks over to Jinsol, “Is that alright with you?”

 

Jinsol feels her heart start racing. Personally, she would’ve felt safer with _more_ people in the room.

 

(It’d remind her that everything was just acting.)

 

But then she thinks about how this is Jungeun’s first sex scene, and realizes that the girl might be way more nervous than she lets on, so she nods.

 

“That’s fine with me,” she says, “as long as you’re okay with it, Jungeun, I’m fine.”

 

Jungeun nods, and they both turn back to the director.

 

Sana smiles, back to her normal-self, and claps her hand twice, “We’ll film as soon as possible!”

 

-

 

Jinsol and Jungeun are waiting outside the door of the set that they’re supposed to barge in on, lips and limbs tangled as they make their way to the bed.

 

Per her promise, Sana’s removed nearly all of the film crew and has kept a few remote-controlled cameras in the room.

 

“We can get this scene done in less than five takes, I promise you,” Sana smiles, nodding to both girls, “you two ready?”

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun answers. Jinsol nods.

 

“Okay,” she hums, “I’ll be in the recording room. You’ll hear me say ‘action!’ through the speakers.”

 

When she leaves, Jinsol and Jungeun look at each other.

 

“You good?” Jungeun asks Jinsol.

 

Jinsol scoffs, “I should be the one asking _you_ that. You’re the rookie here.”

 

_“Girls, you ready?”_

 

The voice over the speaker cuts through their banter.

 

“Yeah!” Jungeun calls back.

 

“ _Okay… action!”_

 

*** * ***

 

It’s almost painful the way Jungeun’s lips crash with Jinsol’s as they stumble through the doorway and towards the bed. Jinsol’s back hits the bed and their lips disconnect, both of their chests heaving.

 

Jungeun slides up, slotting her body between Jinsol’s legs as Jinsol’s thighs rise up and her ankles lock behind Jungeun’s lower-back, her arms reaching up to pull Jungeun back down into another kiss.

 

_This is Jisoo and Hyunjoo._

 

_Jisoo and Hyunjoo...._

 

Grabby hands pull at shirts and jeans and shorts and it’s not long until both girls are only in their undergarments. Jinsol stares (because in the script, she’s _supposed_ to stare at Jungeun’s character, awed), but the _Real_ Jinsol stares, too.

 

She knows Jungeun’s beautiful but… _damn_.

 

Jungeun doesn’t let the staring last long. Their bodies are pressed together once more and it’s dizzying how their tongues swipe against each other and how Jungeun’s feather-like fingers dance up Jinsol’s waist and towards her chest.

 

By the time bras are off and underwear is kicked away, both girls have worked up a sweat.

 

The moan that leaves Jinsol and reverberates across Jungeun’s lips isn’t a planned one, but with the way Jungeun’s pressed against her and the way Jungeun’s hand is cupping her breast, it’s an _inevitable_ moan.

 

“I love you,” Jungeun whispers into Jinsol’s ear, biting the lobe and then moving down the girl’s neck, placing kisses along the smooth, tense skin.

 

Jinsol’s eyes flutter close at the sensation, holding back a gasp.

 

_“Jungeun, move your hair, please. We can’t see the kisses!”_

 

The sudden voice makes both girls feel as if they’re being drenched with ice-cold water, taking them right out of the moment.

 

Jungeun huffs out a breath of amusement against Jinsol’s neck, causing goosebumps to rise, and then she moves her hair to the side.

 

_“That’s better. Keep going! You two are doing great!”_

 

“What a mood-setter,” Jungeun whispers.

 

Jinsol holds back a giggle, which isn’t that hard to do considering she’s much too turned-on (and _embarrassed_ that she’ss turned-on) to let out a laugh.

 

Jungeun continues her descent seconds later, pressing warm, wet kisses all over Jinsol’s body, leaving a trail of fire on her skin.

 

Jinsol can feel Jungeun hesitate when she nears her center, and she pulls the younger girl back up for another kiss.

 

At the same time, she reaches for Jungeun’s wrist and guides the hand lower and lower. She subtly guides Jungeun’s hand to a fist-formation, the action hidden from the camera.

 

Jinsol puts Jungeun’s hand on the inner part of her thigh—not touching the spot where she’s _actually_ aching—and moans loudly even though Jungeun hasn't even touched her _there_.

 

Jungeun, who catches on quickly, moves her hand up and down Jinsol’s thigh and, through the camera lens, gives the illusion of her fingers entering the blonde girl.

 

Their foreheads are pressed together and Jinsol’s eyes are locked onto Jungeun, but she pretends that the pleasure is too much for her before she squeezes her eyes shut.

 

(She also does this because she thinks she’s hallucinating at how _dark_ Jungeun’s eyes seem.)

 

Jinsol lets out another moan, higher pitched and more breathy. She feels Jungeun’s kiss her open-mouth as she gasps at her (faux) touches.

 

It’s an accident when Jungeun’s knuckle actually brushes against Jinsol’s center, and the choked gasp and moan that Jinsol lets out is _real_. Her hips buck involuntarily and she doesn’t have time to feel ashamed/embarrassed, because Jungeun kisses her again.

 

If Jungeun notices anything, she doesn’t show it.

 

Her hands continue to rub and Jinsol eventually feigns an orgasm.

 

The scene isn’t done yet, however, because Jungeun kisses Jinsol sweetly—a stark contrast to how they’d entered the scene.

 

She pulls away, keeping their foreheads locked.

 

“I love you, Jisoo,” Jungeun whispers.

 

“I love you, too, Hyunjoo,” Jinsol replies back breathlessly.

 

It’s then that Jungeun lays her head down atop of Jinsol’s chest, tugging the blankets up and over their body.

 

_“Cut! That was amazing! Spectacular! Your chemistry is off the charts!”_

 

The actresses laid in the bed both let out chuckles at the excited voice.

 

Jungeun sits up and pulls the blanket up with her. Jinsol does the same, except she helps hold the blanket around Jungeun’s body instead of around her own. They’re both genuinely sweaty and breathless, but they give each other tired smiles.

 

_“For the next take, maybe have Jisoo sit on the edge of the bed with Hyunjoo on top before they lay down?”_

 

“Sure,” Jungeun nods.

 

_“And maybe slow it down when it’s time to take off the clothes?”_

 

“Got it,” Jinsol replies this time.

 

_“Great! Do you girls want to take a break before we film another take?”_

 

Jungeun looks over to Jinsol, “I’m fine if you are.”

 

Jinsol replies back, “We’re good to go!”

 

_“Awesome! Get dressed again. We’ll start again in five.”_

 

The air in the room is heavy (no thanks to all the heavy-breathing the two had done), but it’s also weighted with something _more_.

 

Jinsol gets out of the bed first. She doesn’t put on her clothes until after she hands Jungeun hers.

 

The girls get dressed and then head back out where their makeup is retouched and messy hair is fixed.

 

When it’s just Jungeun and Jinsol waiting outside the door again, Jungeun clears her throat.

 

“Sorry for the slip-up,” she says awkwardly.

 

“Huh?” Jinsol blinks, and then she realizes that Jungeun’s referring to when her knuckle touched… “Oh, the—”

 

“ _Yeah_ ,” Jungeun says shortly.

 

…

 

“At least I sounded natural…?” Jinsol offers, alluding to the moan she’d let out earlier.

 

“Wait, that was—?”

 

_“You girls ready?”_

 

“Yes!” Jinsol replies immediately.

 

She doesn’t give Jungeun the time to look confused/surprised, because they hear ‘action!’ and immediately start lip-locking.

 

Per Sana’s request, Jinsol sits on the edge of the bed as Jungeun straddles her. Jinsol keeps on hand on Jungeun’s waist and the other hand cupping the side of her neck as they continue to kiss.

 

As they go to lay down, Jinsol thinks about how fucking embarrassing it’s going to be when Jungeun pulls her underwear down and sees how wet she is. She tries to shove the inevitable shame away because Jungeun’s tongue is literally _in her mouth_ and she can’t really afford to feel shameful at the moment.

 

Once again, per the director’s request, the girls remove their clothes slowly. When it comes to getting Jinsol’s skinny jeans off, it’s a bit of a struggle and the girls let out giggles as Jinsol shimmies her way out of the clothes. It’s a pure moment, not just for the characters but for everyone involved in shooting this scene, and it releases the small bit of pressure off of all of their shoulders.

 

“You’re beautiful,” Jungeun whispers as she tugs down the sides of Jinsol’s panties. She looks down as she does this, and it almost makes Jinsol self-conscious (which is _ridiculous_ , because Jinsol thinks she’s pretty confident).

 

The rest of the take goes by almost the same way the first take had gone, except Jungeun doesn’t slip up this time and Jinsol’s probably wetter than she had been an hour earlier.

 

_“Cut!”_

 

Jinsol sits up, bringing the blanket with her and trying not to tense up when she feels Jungeun’s arm brush against her own.

 

_“I’m thinking maybe one more take, and you don’t have to get redressed. Just one more take so we can get close-ups of your hands and lips. Is that okay?”_

 

“Wait, uhm—” Jungeun looks over to Jinsol before turning back, facing the wall because she’s not sure where the speaker’s located, “do you need a close-up of the hand that I use to…”

 

 _“Only if that’s okay! Not the actual shot of your fingers going in—we’re not shooting porn—but maybe a zoomed-out view of what_ **_looks_ ** _like your fingers going in? Jinsol’s thigh will cover anything too scandalous up.”_

 

“Her fingers aren’t actually going in,” Jinsol replies, “would that mess up the shot?”

 

 _“If it’s zoomed out enough, I’m sure no one will notice. No actual penetration is needed, girls! Whatever’s most comfortable with you two. I can kick out more crew members, if need be, but_ **_seriously_ ** _, whatever’s most comfortable with you two.”_

 

Jinsol looks over to Jungeun, “I’m okay with anything.”

 

Jungeun’s eyes widen, “You want me to…?”

 

“Just for this take, if it’ll make things seem authentic,” Jinsol shrugs. She’s playing everything off like she’s calm, but she’s actually freaking out on the inside at the thought of Jungeun’s fingers entering her.

 

“Just for this take,” Jungeun repeats.

 

Jinsol nods, “Only if you’re okay with it.”

 

“It’s not my vagina being fingered,” Jungeun coughs.

 

Jinsol shakes her head at how jittery Jungeun’s being, “I don’t think you’re one hundred percent into it. We don’t have to.”

 

“One take,” Jungeun repeats, more determined this time.

 

“Are you sure?” Jinsol asks worriedly, “You shouldn’t feel pressured, you know? We seriously don’t have to—”

 

“I’m sure,” Jungeun cuts her off.

 

 _“Okaaay, great! I’m kicking people out as we speak!_ **_Jeff, get out_ ** _! Girls, go back to laying down with Hyunjoo on top, we can start off with the finger-into-vagina scene and move from there!”_

 

“Wait, I was going to—” Jinsol looks around. She huffs.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I…” Jinsol lays back down, “nothing.”

 

Jungeun pushes the blankets away and goes to lay on top of Jinsol, “No, what’s wrong?”

 

Jinsol avoids Jungeun’s eyes, cheeks pink, “I was going to go wipe.”

 

“Wipe?”

 

“Yeah… wipe my…” Jinsol gulps.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Jungeun lets out, realizing what Jinsol meant, “why?”

 

“It’s....” Jinsol closes her eyes, feeling very ashamed and guilty as she whispers out, “it’s wet.”

 

“So?” Jungeun replies, and Jinsol opens her eyes in surprise at this. Jungeun just smiles at her, “It’s only natural.”

 

Jinsol doesn’t get to say anything else, because Sana calls out ‘action!’, and they’re thrown into the scene.

 

Jinsol tosses aside her earlier embarrassment as she pulls Jungeun into another kiss (while leading the girl’s hand down her body).

 

Jinsol feels her stomach do all sorts of flips as Jungeun’s hands hover over her center.

 

Jungeun leans away from the kiss just as she slinks her index finger into Jinsol. The action makes Jinsol moan loudly before she lets out a small whine and a huff of breath. Jungeun kisses her lips, hand frozen in its spot, her finger pushed in up to her knuckle.

 

Jinsol closes her eyes, thinks that this whole scene might seem awkward if Jungeun doesn’t _do something_ , so she whispers quietly, “You can move it.”

 

Chills spread through Jungeun’s body upon hearing Jinsol’s words, and she springs to action. The finger’s barely moved out before being pushed back in, and Jinsol almost blacks out from that thrust alone.

 

Jungeun continues with smaller thrusts (because she’s scared to do anything more), but Jinsol’s toes curl (because Jungeun’s still hitting a very, _very_ sensitive and pleasure-inducing area) and she bends her head back against the pillow. Jungeun kisses her neck, licks at the tense veins popping out, and Jinsol’s kind of scared that she might actually have an orgasm.

 

Except: it doesn’t last long, because Sana tells them that they got the shot, and then Jinsol’s eyes open immediately.

 

She tries to go back into her professional-mode, but feeling Jungeun’s finger pull out of her makes her groan lowly and watching Jungeun stare at the wetness on said fingers…

 

Jinsol sits up and grabs a few napkins from the box on top of the bedside table. She hands them to Jungeun, who takes them wordlessly. She tries to calm her breathing, finding it hard to do so when Jungeun seems to be struggling just as hard.

 

With the rest of the shoot, it’s just Jinsol and Jungeun kissing and touching and whispering out words of appreciation and love.

 

*** * ***

 

When Sana calls for the end of the scene, Jinsol hands Jungeun her clothes once again and they get changed.

 

Jinsol feels the awkwardness start to settle in, and it scares her because they haven’t even left the room yet and they’re already being awkward.

 

“Do your sex scenes usually go like this?” Jungeun says with a slight chuckle that’s more nervous than it is playful.

 

“No,” Jinsol replies honestly, “no, not at all…”

 

_“You girls go rest! We can shoot the last scene tomorrow! Good job today!”_

 

The excited voice makes both of them jump, and then they look at each other with shy glances.

 

“I’m gonna go, then,” Jungeun clears her throat, “I’ll text you.”

 

“Y—Yeah,” Jinsol nods, “bye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

-

 

When Jinsol gets home, she showers in a vain attempt at trying to forget how nice Jungeun’s lips had felt on her skin. She gets ready for bed after a very long (and very _cold_ ) shower.

 

She’s just about to get under the covers when she hears the doorbell ring.

 

Jinsol frowns and reaches for her phone, on the verge of calling Sooyoung (because this isn’t the first time a fan’s found out where she lived)—but then she sees a new text come up on her screen.

 

**[Jungeun]: I’m outside.**

 

Jinsol practically throws her phone to the side and hurries to the door. She opens it, revealing a disheveled looking Jungeun.

 

“Jungeun, it’s late. Why are you—”

 

“ _I know_. I know it’s late but—Jinsol, it’s been hours since we were on set together and I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I honestly think I’m going insane,” Jungeun says quickly, all in one breath.

 

Jinsol’s eyes widen, “J—Jungeun…”

 

The younger girl looks panicked, “And… I think we need to talk.”

 

“I… Sure,” Jinsol nods, opening the door wider so Jungeun can enter.

 

Jinsol closes and locks the door as Jungeun immediately starts walking towards the couch, sitting down nervously. Jinsol follows, sitting a safe distance away from Jungeun.

 

“Are you… okay?” Jinsol asks gently.

 

“Yes,” Jungeun replies quickly, a bit _too_ quick, “I mean— _no_ . I— _I don’t know_ , Jinsol.”

 

Jinsol nods understandingly. Seeing as Jungeun’s so rattled, Jinsol thinks she should try and remain the calm one here.

 

She speaks with a steady voice, “Is this about what happened today? About us shooting the sex scene together?”

 

“Yes, but it’s…” Jungeun closes her eyes tightly, “it’s not _just_ that.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jinsol questions, though she isn’t too sure that she wants to know the answer.

 

“I’ve…” Jungeun takes a deep breath, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Even _before_ the sex scene. But… what we had to do today it—”

 

“You shouldn’t have done that if you weren’t going to be comfortable—”

 

“No, that’s the thing, Jinsol,” Jungeun opens her eyes, staring at Jinsol desperately, “I—I _was_ comfortable and I… I didn’t want to stop.”

 

Jinsol feels her entire body tense up.

 

“I know this is overstepping so many boundaries but,” Jungeun bites down on her lip nervously.

 

She’s not sure where she’s going with her explanation.

 

…

 

They sit in silence while Jungeun tries to gather up the courage to say what she came over to say in the first place.

 

“Jungeun, I think it’s late and—”

 

“ _I like you, Jinsol_ . I really, _really_ like you and I realize this isn’t a good time to tell you because we still have one more scene to shoot and then we have to promote the movie together and it’d be bad if things become awkward between us but—”

 

“We can’t,” is all Jinsol says, cutting the girl off.

 

Jungeun’s eyebrows knit together, letting out a breathy, “What?”

 

“Whatever you’re thinking of us doing; whether it be having sex or dating…” Jinsol says cautiously, “we can’t.”

 

“Is it…” Jungeun frowns, “Is it because you don’t _want_ to or is it because you’re famous?”

 

“It’s because **_we’re_** famous, Jungeun. We _both_ are,” Jinsol replies, “We have so many pairs of eyes on us already and being together will just add fuel to the fire. Eventually, things are going to get messy and be completely out of our control.”

 

“Rumors are _always_ going around and things are _always_ getting out of control,” Jungeun whispers, “besides, we don’t have to announce—”

 

“It doesn’t matter if we announce that we’re together or not. People figure stuff out. And once people figure stuff out, it’s going to be a shit-storm.”

 

“So what?” Jungeun’s voice turns cold. Jinsol’s taken aback.

 

“Jungeun… Do you not realize how _harsh_ people can be?”

 

“So what if a bunch of lowlife scrubs with nothing better to do than to photograph celebrities and write shitty articles about them talk about me? So what?” Jungeun retorts, her nervousness subsiding as her anger increases, “Do you honestly think that matters to me, Jinsol?”

 

“It _should_ matter to you! This is your **_career_ **, Jungeun!”

 

Jinsol’s outburst stuns them both into silence.

 

…

 

Jinsol sighs.

 

“We can’t,” she repeats, “not when you’re _just_ starting out as an actress.”

 

A scoff.

 

“You’ll fuck me a few years from now, then? When I’m no longer a rookie in the industry?” Jungeun’s tone is full of bite.

 

“Jungeun…” Jinsol calls out sadly.

 

“You know what—” Jungeun stands from the couch, shaking her head, “Forget it. I should’ve just kept this to myself. I shouldn’t have come here. Just… Just forget it.”

 

“Jungeun,” Jinsol stands, grabbing onto Jungeun’s wrist as the girl attempts to walk by her.

 

“What?” Jungeun snaps.

 

Jinsol can see the tears building up in Jungeun’s eyes and she feels her heart twist at the sight.

 

“Please, _please_ don’t be mad at me,” she whispers.

 

Jungeun sniffles as she pulls her wrist away from Jinsol, wiping away a tear that had fallen down her cheek.

 

“It was stupid of me to try to get with you,” Jungeun whispers, avoiding Jinsol’s eyes and shaking her head, “I should’ve known this was going to happen.”

 

“Jungeun…”

 

They stand several feet away from each other, but Jinsol’s never felt so far apart from someone so physically close to her.

 

...

 

Eventually, Jungeun speaks.

 

Her voice is quiet, defeated, “Love can’t be endless if you never let it begin, Jinsol.”

 

And Jinsol watches her walk away.

 

When she door slams shut and she hears Jungeun drive away, she comes to the realization that she’s really, _really_ fucked up.

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

 

It’s odd to work alongside someone who’s so good at acting even when they’re offset.

 

Jinsol thinks about this often as she and Jungeun are doing interview after interview together.

 

The movie’s being released this upcoming weekend and she and Jungeun have been booked to the brim with schedules together.

 

It’s amazing how Jungeun can act like everything’s fine between them whenever it’s not just them together and then be ice-cold the minute they end up having to be alone with each other.

 

(Then again, Jinsol has to act like everything’s fine, as well.)

 

-

 

“You two are so cute together!” the interviewer cooes, pointing between Jungeun and Jinsol, who are sat side-by-side on a small white couch, “I watched the trailer for _Lonely_ and—let me just say— _adorable!_ ”

 

“Thank you, thank you,” Jungeun laughs, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

 

“Now, tell me,” the interviewer leans in, comedically lowering her voice, “what were your first thoughts when you realized that you two were going to be lovers in this movie?”

 

“Ah, like, our first impressions of each other?” Jungeun asks.

 

“Yeah!” the interviewer leans back in her chair, “First impressions of the script, of each other…”

 

“Uhm, well,” Jinsol speaks up, “I loved the script the moment I saw it. Jungeun, on the other hand, did not.”

 

Jungeun pulls a face and the interviewer gasps, “Why didn’t you like it?!”

 

Jungeun shakes her head, “I don’t normally like watching romance movies. _Lonely_ was different, though. I had to read the script a few times to actually feel something for the struggle that the couple goes through. I’m not giving any spoilers, though,” she points to the camera menacingly (she looks like a child).

 

They all share a few laughs before conversation continues.

 

“As for my first impression of Jungeun…” Jinsol says, “we actually met at an awards show.”

 

“Oh! In the bathroom,” Jungeun snaps her fingers, recalling the memories.

 

Even if it’s just an act, Jinsol’s missed seeing Jungeun so energetic.

 

Jinsol nods, grinning, “In the bathroom.”

 

The interviewer narrows her eyes, “Is ‘ _the bathroom_ ’ code-word for something or…?”

 

“No,” Jungeun chuckles, “no, we met in the actual bathroom.”

 

“I knew of Jungeun before we’d met, of course,” Jinsol says, “but my first reaction to seeing her up-close, in-person, was ‘ _wow… she really has the face of a star’_.”

 

“Oh, shut up!” Jungeun laughs embarrassedly, pushing Jinsol by her shoulder.

 

“It’s true!” Jinsol exclaims.

 

The interviewer laughs along with them and then gestures to Jungeun, “How about you, Jungeun? What were your first thoughts on Miss Jung over here?”

 

“Uhmm….” Jungeun hums.

 

Jinsol feigns offence, “Okay, _wow_ . Don’t think about it _too_ hard.”

 

Jungeun laughs and shakes her head, “No, I really… I was speechless when we first met. You were very beautiful and you just had this _aura_ around you. I don’t know how to describe it, but I was kind of scared of you.”

 

“ _You_ were the one who asked _me_ out to dinner the second day we met.”

 

“Yeah, and I was _scared_!”

 

“So,” the interviewer grins, “it’s safe to say you two hit it off immediately, even with Jungeun’s fear of Jinsol?”

 

Jinsol eyes Jungeun, and then nods, “Yeah, something like that.”

 

Jungeun agrees, “Something like that…” she repeats.

 

-

 

“Were you actually scared of me?” Jinsol asks as they’re walking off the set. It’s the first time she’s tried to start a conversation with Jungeun after what had happened, but there are still people around so Jungeun can’t be as cold as she usually is with Jinsol.

 

“Yes,” she replies shortly.

 

“...Why?”

 

“What I said earlier was true. I was scared because you’re beautiful,” Jungeun replies, not looking at Jinsol as she says this, “pretty things scare me.”

 

“Oh,” Jinsol lets out quietly.

 

Jungeun walks away.

 

Jinsol watches.

 

—

 

**_[Sex Scene in ‘Lonely’ Stirs Up Rumors of Kim Jungeun and Jung Jinsol’s Sexualities!]_ **

 

 _If you’ve seen the recently-released movie, you know_ **_exactly_ ** _what scene I’m talking about._

 

_Phew! Am I right?_

 

 _Either these two ladies are amazing at acting, or they really_ **_do_ ** _like girls._

 

_(Or maybe just each other.)_

 

_What are your thoughts?_

 

_Comments:_

 

**_[____]: oh, kim jungeun is DEFINITELY f*cking gay LOL (+1634, -167)_ **

**_[____]: i don’t know… jinsol’s been in relationships with guys before, hasn’t she? this is her first gay movie too so… (+423, -87)_ **

**_[____]: idk who this jungeun person is, but their sex scene was HOT. also: jinsol’s gotta be gay (+214, -23)_ **

**_[____]: my gaydar pings for both of them and i’m not even gay (+532, -32)_ **

 

—

 

Sana Minatozaki throws a big party after the premier of _Lonely_ , and of course the main stars are obligated to attend. Sooyoung drops Jinsol off at Sana’s mansion, tells her that she’ll be in some diner nearby if Jinsol wants to leave early, and then leaves.

 

Jungeun arrives by herself, and when she walks in, everyone claps and greets her warmly.

 

Sana brings Jungeun and Jinsol together, raising her glass of wine as she makes a toast, congratulating everyone for the newly released movie. She dedicates the movie to her wife, Kim Dahyun, and everyone erupts in cheers.

 

With the way Jungeun squirms at how close Jinsol got when they were toasting and the way she avoids Jinsol’s eyes, Jinsol thinks she’s going to have to get _really_ drunk to get through this night.

 

-

 

Jinsol doesn’t remember how many drinks she’s had, but the room’s starting to spin and the music’s starting to sound less like music and more like underwater bass thumps. She scans her eyes around the large room, looking for the brunette that’s been invading her mind for the past few weeks.

 

She asks around for Jungeun’s whereabouts, and one of the make-up artists tells Jinsol that Jungeun had walked out of the room a while ago.

 

Jinsol leaves the main room, squeezes past a couple that’s trying to get into the room at the same time she’s going out, and wanders down the hall. It’s dark, but there are a few dimmed lights. She looks around, getting further and further away from the booming music.

 

When she gets to the end of the hall and spots the staircase leading up to who-knows-where, she sees a pair of legs on the second section of the stairs.

 

“Jungeun?” Jinsol calls out.

 

“Yeah?” the voice replies.

 

Jinsol stumbles up the secluded staircase. She’s clearly drunk out of her mind, and Jungeun merely raises one eyebrow in (barely-there) amusement.

 

“Hi!” Jinsol says, crawling up to the step that Jungeun’s sat on.

 

“Hi,” Jungeun replies, less enthusiasm in her voice.

 

Jinsol plops down next to her and places a hand on Jungeun’s thigh, “What are you doing here alone?”

 

“You know me,” Jungeun shrugs, “I’m not a party person.”

 

“Just like Hyunjoo!” Jinsol smiles widely, squeezing Jungeun’s thigh.

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun hums, jumping at the contact, “just like Hyunjoo…”

 

“Hey…” Jinsol pouts, bumping her shoulder with Jungeun’s, “You seem a bit down. Are you okay?”

 

_She’s so fucking drunk._

 

Jungeun sighs. Drunk Jinsol’s probably unaware of the current Cold War going on between them.

 

For the sake of Drunk Jinsol, Jungeun decides that she’ll put the iciness on pause.

 

“I’m fine,” Jungeun answers.

 

“Did someone say something to you?” Jinsol frowns, straightening her back and furrowing her eyebrows. The thought of someone making Jungeun sad seems to sober Jinsol right up.

 

“No one said anything to me, Jinsol.”

 

“Do I have to fight somebody?”

 

“No, _no_ ,” Jungeun chuckles (it’s a _real_ chuckle), shaking her head, “I’m okay, Jinsol. Really.”

 

Jinsol suddenly brings both of her hands up to Jungeun’s face, cupping the girl’s cheeks, “Are you lying to me?”

 

“No,” Jungeun says, “I wouldn’t lie to you, Jinsol.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I’m sure,” Jungeun nods.

 

Jinsol stares into Jungeun’s eyes; she **really** stares.

 

And then her shoulders deflate, like she’s given up on something.

 

“Even if you were lying, I don’t think I’d be able to tell,” Jinsol mumbles, “you’re too good of an actress.”

 

“Well, thank you.”

 

“That wasn’t a compliment,” Jinsol narrows her eyes.

 

“I think it was,” Jungeun grins. Up until now, she had been ignoring how close their faces are, but when she feels Jinsol’s nose brush against her own, she gasps.

 

Jinsol inhales sharply, but she doesn’t move away from Jungeun. Instead, her eyes flicker from Jungeun’s wide-eyes to her lips.

 

And she leans in.

 

…

 

But Jungeun leans away.

 

She presses a hand on Jinsol’s shoulder and pushes gently.

 

“No,” she whispers.

 

“No?”

 

“No,” Jungeun repeats, “you’re drunk.”

 

“I’m not that drunk—”

 

“Jinsol, _stop it_ ,” Jungeun says firmly, trying to calm her own heartbeat.

 

Jinsol listens. She stays quiet for a few seconds, waiting for Jungeun to say something.

 

…

 

“If…” Jungeun starts out shakily, “if you still want to kiss me when you’re sober, tell me.”

 

“Jungeun…”

 

“I’m gonna go,” Jungeun shakes her head, standing from the stairs and then hurrying down them.

 

Jinsol doesn’t see her for the rest of the evening.

 

-

 

Jinsol groans as she throws her body onto Haseul’s couch. She grabs a pillow and presses it over her face, muffling the angry screams she lets out.

 

Haseul hops on one foot over to her, sitting down and tapping Jinsol’s foot with her non-injured one.

 

“You good?”

 

“No!” Jinsol’s muffled voice replies. She sits up hastily, placing the pillow in her lap to stare at Haseul, “Is it weird if I talk to you about feelings? Like _romantic_ feelings?”

 

“It’s not feelings _for me_ , is it?”

 

“No,” Jinsol shakes her head.

 

“Then go ahead. Be my guest,” Haseul smiles.

 

“Okay, here’s the thing: I was drunk as hell yesterday, right?”

 

“Mhm…”

 

“And then I tried to kiss Jungeun.”

 

Haseul hums, “It didn’t work?”

 

“ _No_ , it didn’t work!” Jinsol nearly screeches, “We’ve been awkward ever since our damn sex-scene! Ever since she confessed to me and I rejected her—”

 

“Why did you reject her?

 

“Huh?” The question pulls Jinsol right out of her rambling, “What?”

 

Haseul shrugs, “Why’d you reject her? With the way you’re acting right now, it’s kinda obvious that you like her.”

 

Jinsol frowns, “Come on… you _know_ why I rejected her.”

 

Haseul rolls her eyes, “Jeez. Is it the same reason why you broke up with me?”

 

“What _other_ reason would there be?”

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jinsol,” Haseul sighs.

 

“What?!”

 

“Are you just _never_ going to date anyone ever again? Because a bunch of people who don’t even know you would judge you? People who only feel powerful behind a screen?”

 

“Those _people_ make my career, Seul…”

 

“No,” Haseul shakes her head, “they don’t. _You_ make your career. You’re just scared, Jinsol.”

 

Jinsol reels back, tightening her grip on the pillow in her lap.

 

She knows Haseul’s right, but…

 

“You already let those bitches fuck up _one_ relationship of yours,” Haseul says with a bit of bite in her tone, “don’t let them fuck up another.”

 

“I don’t need those _bitches_ to fuck up another relationship of mine, Haseul, “Jinsol scoffs. Her voice is quieter with her next few words, “I already did that myself…”

 

-

 

Haseul and Jinsol are in the middle of binge-watching Game of Thrones when Jinsol’s phone buzzes multiple times within the span of a few seconds.

 

“Who’s that?” Haseul asks.

 

“It’s Sooyoung,” Jinsol says before she even opens up her notifications, recognizing the ringtone she set for her manager.

 

**[Soo]: holy shit, jinsol.**

**[Soo]: what did you DO?**

**[Soo]: [Link]**

 

Jinsol’s stomach drops as she clicks on the article that Sooyoung sent her. Haseul looks at her screen from over Jinsol’s shoulder.

 

“Oh, _shit_ …” Haseul whispers.

 

“ _Fuck. Fuck!_ ”

 

-

 

**[Jung Jinsol Caught Trying to Make a Move on Kim Jungeun!]**

 

_At director Sana Minatozaki’s premier party, the Lonely stars were caught sharing an intimate moment on the staircase of Miss Minatozaki’s mansion!_

 

 _But,_ **_ouch_ ** _! Jinsol got rejected by rising star Kim Jungeun._

 

 _I guess_ **_some_ ** _people are immune to Jung’s charms, huh?_

 

_[3 Photos Attached]_

 

_Comments:_

 

**_[____]: holy shit, are these real??? that’s definitely jinsol’s bright ass hair… wow (+426, -12)_ **

**_[____]: imagine being stupid enough to reject jung jinsol LOL (+586, -51)_ **

**_[____]: well. we know who’s the straight one, now. (+1421, -174)_ **

**_[____]: BIG yikes. considering jinsol’s a senior in the industry and jungeun’s just starting out… this rubs me the wrong way (+1145, -531)_ **

 

-

 

“Jinsol, _Jinsol_ , _calm down_ ,”

 

“Do **not** tell me to _calm down_ , Haseul!” Jinsol gasps out, feeling the panic rise in her as she stares at the photos of her and Jungeun on the stairs together.

 

There was a window right by the staircase.

 

 _How could she not have noticed the window right by the_ **_fucking staircase_ ** _?_

 

“Breathe, Jinsol,” Haseul says gently, “ _breathe_.”

 

“Oh my God, I’m so fucking stupid. Why did I have to get so drunk? I didn’t even notice the window there. I—I didn’t—” Jinsol chokes on her own words, feeling herself start to break down.

 

Haseul pulls her closer.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,”

 

“It’s _not_ okay!” Jinsol cries loudly, burying her face into Haseul’s shoulder, “Oh my _God_ … I fucked up so bad— _so,_ **_so_ ** _bad.._ . **_Shit_ ** _!_ ”

 

“ _Breathe_ ,” Haseul reminds her, rubbing her back soothingly.

 

Jinsol’s shoulders shake and she grabs onto the sides of Haseul’s sweater to keep her hands from trembling as well.

 

Jinsol’s phone starts to ring.

 

It’s Sooyoung.

 

“I—I can’t talk—” Jinsol gasps out.

 

“I’ll get it,” Haseul says reassuringly. She picks the phone up.

 

“Jinsol, where are you? I’m outside your place—”

 

“It’s Haseul,” Haseul says, “Jinsol’s at my place. She’s… she’s not doing too well.”

 

“I need to talk to her,” Sooyoung says sternly.

 

“Can it wait?” Haseul replies, anger rising.

 

“No—”

 

“She can barely _breathe_ right now, Sooyoung,” Haseul snaps, “ _Jesus Christ_ —let her take a second to let this sink in. I’m sure you still know the place I live at. Get here and then you can talk to her. Bye.”

 

She hangs up without another word, and goes back to trying to calm Jinsol down.

 

-

 

When Sooyoung gets there, Jinsol’s still sniffling, but she’s much more composed than she had been minutes ago.

 

Concern’s written all over Sooyoung’s face as she sits next to Jinsol (Haseul sits on the other side).

 

“Are you okay?” she asks carefully.

 

“No,” Jinsol replies honestly, “I… I fucked up, Soo.”

 

“It’s okay,” Sooyoung whispers, “we can fix it.”

 

“No,” Jinsol closes her eyes, “there’s… there’s nothing to fix. There are _photos_ , Sooyoung. It’s out there. They… I’m—”

 

“Jinsol, look at me,” Sooyoung’s voice is equal parts stern and soft.

 

Jinsol looks over, through her tears.

 

“Do you want to lie to the public?”

 

“What?” Jinsol asks, confused.

 

Sooyoung’s eyes flicker over to Haseul before focusing once more on Jinsol, “We can say you were drunk. It was just… one of your stupid drunk mistakes.”

 

Haseul scoffs, “Don’t you think that’d make Jinsol seem even _worse_?”

 

Sooyoung glares at her, “It’ll keep the public thinking that Jinsol’s straight. Straight girls do dumb shit like this all the time.”

 

Haseul frowns, crossing her arms and shaking her head, “Un-fucking-believable.”

 

“Do you have a better idea, then?” Sooyoung hisses.

 

“Yes, actually! How about—”

 

“I’ll get a boyfriend,” Jinsol says weakly, cutting the two’s argument off.

 

“ _What_?” both Haseul and Sooyoung ask in unison.

 

“A boyfriend,” Jinsol repeats, her voice still shaky, “we don’t have to address the Jungeun issue. The pap was on private property. We can sue them, get the article down, do whatever we have to do.”

 

“Jinsol…” Sooyoung trails off worriedly.

 

Haseul clenches her jaw. She has a lot to say, but she keeps quiet.

 

Now’s not the time for her to be lecturing Jinsol.

 

“I’ll get a boyfriend. You deal with the article,” Jinsol sniffles, words directed towards Sooyoung despite not looking at the girl. She takes out her phone and scrolls through her contact list, sending a text-message to the first easy male she finds.

 

“I…” Sooyoung sighs, “Are you sure?”

 

“Sooyoung, _please_ ,” Jinsol says tiredly, “don’t question me right now.”

 

“Alright,” Sooyoung relents. She gets up from the couch, taking Jinsol’s hand and getting her up as well, “I’ll drive you back to your place.”

 

Haseul watches as the girls walk out together, feeling disappointment bubble up within her.

 

_So much for making your own career and not letting those online bitches control you…_

 

-

 

Jinsol tries to tune out Sooyoung’s angry voice as they drive back to her place.

 

Her manager’s making calls to the site that had uploaded the article, and she’s not using very friendly words.

 

She distracts herself by messaging the guy she’d texted earlier.

 

**[Blonde Guy From After-Party]: So, did you really try to get with Jungeun?**

**[Jinsol]: no. i was drunk lol everyone does dumb shit when they’re drink**

**[Jinsol]: you never answered, btw. do you want to get dinner with me?**

**[Blonde Guy From After-Party]: Of course. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven?**

**[Jinsol]: sure.**

**[Blonde Guy From After-Party]: Dress nice. ;)**

 

Jinsol grimaces.

 

She feels her stomach churn as she closes her eyes and tries to forget about everything that’s going on.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

**[False Alarm? Jung Jinsol Spotted on a Romantic Dinner with Old Co-worker.]**

 

_So soon after the reveal of her and Kim Jungeun’s scandalous photos, Jung Jinsol was recently seen on a date with her old co-worker, Park Haejin._

 

_[4 Photos Attached]_

 

_[...]_

 

_Maybe Jung Jinsol isn’t gay, after all!_

 

_Comments:_

 

**_[____]: shame… (+1534, -342)_ **

**_[____]: meh. jungeun’s hotter than this guy LOLOL (+1283, -463)_ **

**_[____]: way to drag an innocent dude into your mess, jinsol… just say you’re gay and leave [+958, -864)_ **

 

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

 

Sooyoung stares at Jinsol worriedly. She’s sat on Jinsol’s bed as Jinsol rummages through her closet to get something to wear on her date with Haejin.

 

(It’s gotta be at least their tenth date at this point.)

 

“Jinsol… you know you don’t have to keep doing this, right?” Sooyoung says, voice barely above a whisper.

 

Jinsol freezes, her back still facing Sooyoung, “What do you mean?”

 

“You don’t have to keep going on these dates, _pretending_ that you like him,” Sooyoung continues, “you can call it quits now, you know? It’s been nearly a month since… since those photos came out. People move on quick.”

 

“There are still articles about me and Jungeun,” Jinsol shakes her head as she pulls out a black dress.

 

Sooyoung feels her worry increase, “You don’t have to put yourself through this.”

 

“I do,” Jinsol replies earnestly. She turns to face Sooyoung with determination in her eyes.

 

“As long as I keep dating Haejin, the rumors about me and Jungeun will start to decrease.”

 

“When was the last time you even _spoke_ to Jungeun?”

 

“...”

 

Sooyoung’s voice becomes quieter, “Why are you still trying to protect her, Sol?”

 

Jinsol doesn’t reply. Instead, she holds the dress up to her body and stands in front of the mirror.

 

“As long as I keep dating Haejin, Jungeun will be fine.”

 

She turns to Sooyoung, “Is this dress okay?”

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

**_[Jung Jinsol and Park Haejin CONFIRMED to be Dating!]_ **

 

 

 

—

 

 

 

Jinsol gets home late, from yet _another_ party for _Lonely_.

 

 _It’s been_ **_months_ ** _—shouldn’t these things be done with already?_

 

She’s avoided Jungeun all night, which was easy considering Haejin’s been attached to her hip for the majority of the evening.

 

Jinsol’s gotten better at controlling her disgust whenever Haejin would touch her.

 

Sure, he’s a good-looking guy, but his hands are rougher than the softness she’s used to.

 

His cologne is too strong. He’s too tall.

 

Jungeun’s perfume is subtle, but hard-hitting once you’re close enough. She’s also the perfect height for Jinsol to hug and have Jungeun’s head nestled comfortably in between her shoulder and neck.

 

_Jungeun…_

 

The only words Jungeun had said to her that night was to congratulate Jinsol.

 

 _Congratulations…_ Jinsol thinks bitterly.

 

 _For_ **_what_ ** _?_

 

She kicks her heels off and practically slams the door behind her, locking it with one hand before walking to her room.

 

Tears burn at the back of her eyes and she doesn’t bother trying to stop them. She strips out of her tight dress as the tears fall, doesn’t bother turning on any of the lights in the house.

 

Jinsol slips on a sweater just before she drops her body onto her bed. She doesn’t care that her face is still full of makeup, much too exhausted (physically _and_ emotionally) to wipe it off.

 

All she does is pull the blanket up around her trembling body, with knuckles that turn ghost-white with how tight she grips the sheets, in a pathetic attempt of shielding herself from the outside world.

 

She sobs, wishing for Jungeun to be in the empty space next to her.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

At some point, Haejin starts to realize that Jinsol’s not entirely into him.

 

He doesn’t take this revelation very well.

 

“What the fuck are we even doing then?” he asks angrily, tone rising. They’re sat in his car, which is parked in front of her house. He’d tried to make a move on Jinsol as she was about to leave, starting with a hand on her thigh and then attempting to kiss her.

 

Jinsol pushed him away and told him that she doesn’t want that, and now they’re _here_.

 

“What do you mean?” Jinsol replies, “We’re dating.”

 

“You won’t even let me kiss you,” Haejin retorts, “it’s been _months_ , and I haven’t even gotten to kiss you properly.”

 

Jinsol shifts uncomfortably, “I don’t want—”

 

“Jesus Christ,” Haejin laughs emotionlessly. He runs a hand through his hair, looking the other way.

 

Suddenly, he brings his fist down and punches the wheel, causing the car to honk.

 

Jinsol flinches at this.

 

In the next second, however, she hardens her composure.

 

“You can go fuck whoever you want, you know?” she says through gritted teeth, “I don’t care.”

 

Haejin’s eyes snap over to her, “What?”

 

“You’re right. This isn’t a real relationship,” she says, “I used you to calm the rumors between me and Jungeun.”

 

It’s risky, confessing this to Haejin, but Jinsol knows that he wouldn’t expose her. If Haejin were to expose her, it’d make _him_ look bad, as well.

 

“What? So, you never liked me? Not even in the beginning?”

 

“No,” Jinsol answers, “not in the slightest bit.”

 

…

 

Jinsol’s face is turned to the other side with the force of Haejin’s slap.

 

She doesn’t register the action until she feels the stinging sensation on her left cheek spread, a dull throbbing starting to become more and more resonant as the seconds tick on.

 

“Manipulative _bitch…_ ” Haejin hisses through his rage, “get the fuck out of my car.”

 

Jinsol leaves without another word.

 

-

 

Jinsol arrives to Sana’s house late and without makeup, so she ducks her head away from all the people in the room that have gathered to film the interview with Sana, Jungeun, and Jinsol, and rushes to the bathroom.

 

Jinsol’s attempting to cover-up the bruise on her cheek with makeup when the bathroom door opens and in walks Jungeun.

 

Both girls freeze.

 

Jinsol could’ve sworn she’d locked the door.

 

“What is _that_?” Jungeun asks quietly.

 

It’s the first words they’ve said to each other in months.

 

“Nothing,” Jinsol replies, continuing to apply makeup to the bruise.

 

Jungeun closes the door behind her (and _locks it_ ) before she walks right up to Jinsol. She takes hold of Jinsol’s chin with her thumb and index finger, turning the girl’s face towards her.

 

She frowns, staring at the bruise, “What the hell?”

 

Jinsol takes a step back, “It’s nothing, Jungeun—”

 

“That is _not_ nothing, Jinsol,” Jungeun replies coldly. Her eyes scan Jinsol’s face again, gaze lingering on the bruised cheek, “What the _fuck_?”

 

“ _Don’t_ ,” Jinsol shakes her head, turning back to the mirror and returning to the makeup application.

 

But Jungeun grabs her wrist and moves the hand with the makeup brush in it away from Jinsol’s face, stepping in between Jinsol and the counter.

 

“Was it _him_ ?” Jungeun asks angrily, still holding onto Jinsol’s wrist, “Did _he_ do this to you?”

 

“...” Jinsol looks away.

 

“This isn’t okay, Jinsol,” Jungeun whispers, “You need to—”

 

“ **Nothing** about my situation is _okay_ , Jungeun,” Jinsol grits out through her teeth, eyes locking onto Jungeun’s once more, “ _nothing_.”

 

“Then _do something_ about it,” Jungeun glares right back at Jinsol, “because the Jinsol I know sure as hell wouldn’t put herself through **this** shit.”

 

“Maybe you don’t know me, then,” Jinsol replies.

 

Jungeun lets go of her wrist. The hand drops down to Jinsol’s side.

 

“You never gave me the chance to get to know you,” Jungeun says, shrugging helplessly as she shakes her head.

 

Jinsol opens her mouth to say something, but then she closes it. She side-steps Jungeun.

 

“This isn’t the place to have this conversation,” Jinsol whispers, mostly to herself, “we have an interview to do.”

 

“After the interview then,” Jungeun says, “my place.”

 

Jinsol’s eyes widen, “What?”

 

“We need to talk, Jinsol,” Jungeun says under her breath as she passes by the blonde girl.

 

She leaves the bathroom, and when Jinsol comes out to record the interview minutes later, it’s almost as if she and Jungeun hadn’t gone months avoiding each other’s existence.

 

(The benefits of being good actresses.)

 

-

 

The drive to Jungeun’s place is silent. Jinsol stares out the window, but the darkness brought on by the night does nothing to ease her nervousness.

 

When they arrive at Jungeun’s house and set their things down in the living room, Jungeun starts talking.

 

“You need to break up with him,”

 

“I know,” Jinsol says, making her way to the couch as Jungeun stays standing near the coffee table, “I’m using him, though.”

 

“You’re _using_ him?” Jungeun raises her eyebrows.

 

“Yes,” Jinsol responds, “as a distraction.”

 

“A distraction for…?”

 

“For the press,” Jinsol clarifies, “to take the heat off of _us_.”

 

“Oh,” Jungeun nods. She hesitates with her next words, “Has… Has it been rough for you?”

 

Jinsol looks down at her lap, shrugging, “It’s been alright.”

 

“Are you lying?”

 

“Not really…?”

 

“ _Jinsol_.”

 

“I can deal with it,” is what Jinsol decides to say, “it’s fine, Jungeun.”

 

Jungeun sighs, not believing Jinsol but also not deciding to push the topic, “Why did you even start dating him? You didn’t need to. People would’ve moved on.”

 

“Rumors about us had started to spread,” Jinsol answers. She hears Jungeun approaching from her left and turns to face her as Jungeun sits down, “I panicked and called the first meathead I knew wouldn’t turn me down.”

 

“A last ditch effort to save your career?”

 

“To save _your_ career,” Jinsol clarifies, desperately, “Jungeun, you’re _just_ starting out as an actress.”

 

“So?”

 

“So you don’t know what people are like,” Jinsol says, eyes conveying the emotion her trembling voice can’t, “they’re _ruthless_ , Jungeun. They’ll tear you apart; I’ve seen it happen to people. Hell, I—I _experienced_ it first-hand, Jungeun... I didn’t want that to happen to you. I _wouldn’t_ let that happen to you.”

 

Jungeun stares, eyebrows knitting together as she begins to shake her head, “I never asked you to protect me, Jinsol.”

 

The words hit Jinsol like a bullet.

 

She flinches away, further away from Jungeun, and nods, “You’re right.”

 

…

 

The silence eats at them, the tension building with each passing second.

 

Jinsol feels her eyes sting with oncoming tears.

 

…

 

Then, suddenly, Jinsol feels soft lips press against her own for only a quick second, and then Jungeun’s pulling away and heading towards the door.

 

“I’ll drive you back to your place.”

 

Jinsol only snaps out of her surprised daze when she hears Jungeun twist the doorknob.

 

She gets off the couch and runs forward, grabbing Jungeun’s wrist and pulling it away. At the same time, she turns Jungeun around with a hand on her hip and presses her against the door. Within the next second, she reconnects their lips.

 

Jungeun gasps at the way Jinsol’s lips immediately start to move, and finds herself reciprocating the kiss with an overheating body. The hand Jinsol’s using to hold onto Jungeun’s wrist slides up her arm until she’s cradling Jungeun’s jaw.

 

Jungeun interlocks her fingers behind Jinsol’s neck, keeping the girl close and allowing herself to be pressed further against the door. Jungeun’s back starts to feel painful, but Jinsol’s soft thigh slipping in between her own makes up for it.

 

When Jinsol pulls away many moments later, she takes Jungeun’s bottom lip into her own, hearing the shaky (and uneven) exhale of Jungeun’s breath as she releases the lip between her teeth.

 

Jungeun’s eyes open, wide, and she’s greeted by Jinsol’s intense gaze.

 

“If you’re going to kiss me,” Jinsol whispers, “then do it _right_.”

 

Jungeun lets out a quivering breath. Jinsol feels it fan across her own lips.

 

Her thumb moves back and forth, the tip of her finger just barely grazing Jungeun’s jawline.

 

“Can I admit something?” Jungeun whispers.

 

Jinsol nods.

 

“I’ve… I’ve been so worried about you,” Jungeun admits, playing with the baby hairs on Jinsol’s neck, “when the photos came out, I… I drove to your place.”

 

Jinsol’s eyes widen, “You did?”

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun scrunches up her nose pathetically, “you weren’t there.”

 

“I… I was at Haseul’s place,”

 

“Oh…” Jungeun’s grip loosens until her hands fall back down to her sides, “ _Oh_.”

 

“ _No_ —it wasn’t like that,” Jinsol hurries to explain herself before Jungeun can start connecting nonexistent dots. She takes a step back, giving them room to breathe, “We’re just friends. Purely friends. I… I was at her place because I needed to talk to her. About you.”

 

“What… What exactly about me?”

 

“How I tried to kiss you when I was drunk,” Jinsol answers, “and how I like you even though I rejected you.”

 

“And then you proceeded to get a boyfriend,” Jungeun hums.

 

“Yes… because Sooyoung came over and tried to make a plan up where I’d say what I did was just a drunken mistake, because _straight girls do dumb shit when they’re drunk_ ,” Jinsol explains, “and… and I didn’t want to say that what I did was just a drunken mistake.”

 

“Wasn’t it?” Jungeun whispers.

 

“ _No_ ,” Jinsol almost gasps out the words, “God— _no_ —it wasn’t a mistake.”

 

“Jinsol, tell me honestly,” Jungeun says, “if those pictures would’ve never come out, would you have tried to kiss me again? _Sober_?”

 

“Well, the pictures _did_ come out, and I kissed you again. _Sober_ ,” Jinsol points out.

 

“Only because _I_ said we needed to talk and only because _I_ kissed you first,” Jungeun retorts, walking past Jinsol and heading towards the couch. She sits down, watching as Jinsol comes closer to sit besides her, “I don’t want to be the only one fighting for us to be together, Jinsol.”

 

“I mean… I… I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me anymore…”

 

Jungeun groans, frustrated, “You irritate me so much, Jinsol.”

 

“Huh?” Jinsol lets out, taken aback at the statement.

 

“ _Please_ , just put yourself in my shoes for a second—for _one_ second,” Jungeun says, eyes softening upon seeing the flash of hurt in Jinsol’s gaze, “Just—imagine that the girl that you like rejects you, tries to kiss you when she’s drunk out of her fucking mind, and then proceeds to get a boyfriend. Months later, that _same girl_ confesses that she’s been using the boyfriend as an excuse to protect your career, kisses you, and then has the nerve to say that you don’t like her anymore when she was the one who never once tried to talk to you during the time in which she’s gotten said-boyfriend.”

 

Jungeun starts to tear up as she says all of this, as if she’s reliving the heartbreak she’d gone through.

 

“I was waiting for you to call me, Jinsol,” Jungeun whispers, voice cracking, “I was waiting for you to tell me that you don’t only want to kiss me when you’re drunk and that you’d like to be with me, even if it has to be in secret. I didn’t want to think that I was hoping for a miracle but… days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and—”

 

She cuts herself off, taking in a deep breath.

 

“Jungeun—”

 

“Wait,” Jungeun shakes her head. She wants to get all of her thoughts out before she lets Jinsol talk, “I just wanted to feel like… like I was worth fighting for, I guess. Like I wasn’t the only one that wanted us together.”

 

“You’re not,” Jinsol denies, “you’re not the only one, Jungeun. _Shit_ —I… I’m an idiot, I know. I know that I’m a fucking idiot and I realize now that me trying to protect you only ended up hurting you…”

 

Jungeun stares at the blonde with blurry vision.

 

“ _I’m sorry_ . I’m sorry for everything, and I’m… I’m sorry for…” Jinsol lets out a whimper, because she’s on the verge of breaking down. She clenches her jaw to keep the tears at bay. She needs to finish talking. Jungeun deserves to hear an explanation, Jungeun deserves _something—_ **_anything_ **.

 

“Wanting to protect your career was… it was only half of the reason why I rejected you,” Jinsol whispers, “the other reason… the other reason is because _I’m scared—_ and not just of what could happen to our careers, but also because of what could happen to the people I love.”

 

“You, Sooyoung, and Haseul are the only people who know I’m gay,” Jinsol whispers, “my parents don’t know. My siblings don’t know. _Nobody_ knows. So, I—I’m scared. And I’m a coward. I’m just a _stupid_ coward who—”

 

“You’re not stupid,” Jungeun says gently, “don’t say that.”

 

“I am—”

 

“No, you’re not,” Jungeun says firmly. They’re both crying now, tears rolling down their cheeks as they stare at each other.

 

“I’m scared, Jungeun,” Jinsol whispers, and Jungeun feels her heart shatter right then and there as a sob escapes Jinsol’s lips.

 

She moves forward, wrapping her arms around Jinsol’s waist and tightening her hold when she feels Jinsol’s shoulders start to shake with the cries and gasps that come out of her.

 

Jinsol cries because she’s scared, she cries because she’s hurt Jungeun.

 

And Jungeun?

 

Well, Jungeun cries because she loves her.

 

-

 

Once their sobs subside down to sniffles and shaky exhales, Jungeun pulls away from Jinsol.

 

Jinsol lowers her head, her hair covering her face as she wipes at her tear-stained cheeks.

 

Jungeun reaches for the tissue box on the coffee table and places it in between them.

 

“I don’t want to force you to come out,” Jungeun says, throat dry, “and I’m not going to.”

 

Jinsol looks up with glossy eyes.

 

“But I _do_ want you to break up with him,” she says, “Hurting yourself emotionally is one thing. Having him hurt you _physically_ is another.”

 

“Okay,” Jinsol nods, “I’ll break up with him.”

 

“Good,” she sighs, “and I want you to be clear with me now. _Crystal_ clear.”

 

“What is it?” Jinsol asks worriedly as Jungeun shifts her body so she’s facing her.

 

“Do you want to be with me?” Jungeun asks this gently, without any sense of bite or pressure in her tone.

 

“Oh…” Jinsol breathes out.

 

Jungeun looks at her expectantly, “I just want an answer so I can figure out whether to move on or not.”

 

“I’m…”

 

At the hesitation, Jungeun’s eyes flicker down to her lap.

 

She nods, as if she knows what Jinsol’s going to say next.

 

“That’s okay,” she whispers, though Jinsol spots the white teeth biting down on a pink lip that begins to quiver.

 

_“You’re just scared, Jinsol.”_

 

Haseul’s voice from months ago pops up into Jinsol’s head.

 

_“You already let those bitches fuck up one relationship of yours, don’t let them fuck up another.”_

 

_Don’t let them fuck up another._

 

“It’s getting super late, huh?” Jungeun sniffles, standing from the couch, “I guess I should really give you a ride home now—”

 

“I do want to be with you,” Jinsol rushes out to say.

 

Jungeun’s eyes snap towards her, “What?”

 

“I want to be with you,” Jinsol repeats, slower this time. She stands, too, and takes both of Jungeun’s hands into her own, “but… but it’s going to have to be in secret. For now. But I don’t know until when—”

 

“Okay,” Jungeun cuts her off, a smile growing on her lips, “okay, as long as we’re together— _okay_.”

 

“Okay,” Jinsol repeats, feeling her own lips curve upwards.

 

A tiny squeal slips past Jungeun’s lips as she moves forward and hugs Jinsol. Jinsol lets out a laugh as she returns the hug, her heart beating rapidly against the chest that Jungeun’s resting her head on.

 

 

—

 

 

**_[Haejin and Jinsol are OVER!]_ **

 

_So much for being the new It-Couple! Actress Jung Jinsol recently tweeted out the news of her and Haejin splitting up._

 

_Apparently, the two have ended on good terms and have asked the fans to continue to support one another._

 

_Considering this is happening just as Haejin and Sooyeon are getting all buddy-buddy, I think it’s a bit fishy!_

 

_Anybody else think so, too?_

 

_Comments:_

 

**_[____]: ah, who cares about the dude and whats-her-name?? jung jinsol’s SINGLE!!!!! (+543, -162)_ **

**_[____]: they were only a visual couple tbh … jinsol had more chemistry with the dog in Lonely than she did with this dude LOL (+1582, -421)_ **

**_[____]: quick someone call up kim jungeun [+1023, -125)_ **

 

 

 

 

 

_—_

 

 

 

 

 

Jinsol was aware that dating Jungeun in secret wasn’t going to be a walk-in-the-park, but she wasn’t expecting it to be so easy, either.

 

The days that they spend together are just like the days they’d spend together when they’d been filming _Lonely_ —except now their cuddle sessions often turn into make-out sessions and they sleep on Jinsol’s bed instead of her couch.

 

Going out in public isn’t hard, either, because the public has coined them as ‘best friends’ and the only hard part for Jinsol is trying not to kiss Jungeun.

 

When they’re alone, however, Jinsol finds herself drowning the younger girl in affection almost all the time. Whether it be squishing her cheeks or kissing her pouting lips or hugging her smaller frame, Jinsol finds herself naturally wanting to be around Jungeun and care for her.

 

“Babe,” Jungeun whines as Jinsol refuses to unwind the arms around her waist, “you’re going to make me overcook the food!”

 

Jinsol kisses Jungeun’s neck and then nuzzles her nose into the warm skin, humming contently.

 

“Do you want to eat or not?” Jungeun says, attempting to sound stern.

 

“Are you on the menu?” Jinsol asks teasingly.

 

“Jinsol!” Jungeun lets out yet another whine.

 

Jinsol giggles and releases Jungeun (but not without a sloppy kiss on the cheek), “Alright. Alright!”

 

“Go sit down and wait for me to finish cooking!” Jungeun chides playfully.

 

“Yes, ma’am!” Jinsol calls back.

 

-

 

Jinsol likes waking up next to Jungeun. She doesn’t mind if they sleep in Jungeun’s bed or her bed, doesn’t mind if she’s the big spoon or the small spoon, and she definitely doesn’t mind if they have clothes on or are completely nude.

 

She likes the warmth that radiates off of Jungeun’s body, likes hearing the little sleepy murmurs that she lets out in her slumber, and likes the whining she does when Jinsol tells her it’s time to get out of bed.

 

(Really, she just likes _Jungeun_.)

 

“Come on, baby,” Jinsol says gently as Jungeun’s thigh slips between her own, the girl attempting to hide herself by curling into Jinsol’s body, “you have an audition today.”

 

“ _Noooo_ ,” Jungeun groans, “ _sleeeeeep_.”

 

“ _After_ your audition,” Jinsol laughs, trying to peel Jungeun off of her.

 

Jungeun holds onto her even tighter.

 

“Jungeun!”

 

“Nooo!”

 

Jinsol’s laughter gets louder because she feels Jungeun start to giggle as well.

 

—

 

It doesn’t come as a surprise to Jinsol when she realizes that she’s in love with Jungeun.

 

In fact, Jinsol welcomes the thought with open-arms.

 

She watches Jungeun move back-and-forth in her living room, dusting off areas on shelves that didn’t even need to be dusted and re-arranging pillows on her couch before returning them to the exact spot they had been before she touched them.

 

“Jungeun, just what on earth are you doing?” Jinsol questions, staring adoringly at her girlfriend from the couch.

 

“Cleaning,” Jungeun answers shortly.

 

“Why?”

 

“I’m nervous,”

 

“What for?” Jinsol laughs, “You’ve met Sooyoung before.”

 

“Yeah, but not as your _girlfriend_ !” Jungeun pauses with the rainbow duster in her hand and turns to look at Jinsol, “This is a _big_ deal!”

 

Jinsol gets up from the couch and walks towards Jungeun. She wraps her arms around Jungeun’s waist, pulling their bodies close until they’re hip-to-hip. Jungeun just stares up at her, a pout on her lips.

 

“Relax,” Jinsol says, leaning down to kiss Jungeun. The kiss is short and sweet, but Jungeun’s cheeks still turn pink and Jinsol’s heart still hammers against her chest, “she’ll love you.”

 

“How do you know that?” Jungeun mumbles insecurely, “You never know, maybe she—”

 

“Because _I_ love you,” Jinsol says.

 

Jinsol didn’t mean to say that outloud, but she doesn’t regret saying it.

 

It _is_ the truth, after all.

 

“If I love you then Sooyoung will love you. Trust me.”

 

She feels Jungeun tense up in her arms, eyes widening at the confession.

 

…

 

Then, Jungeun’s lips are on hers again.

 

The kiss is over within a millisecond, because Jungeun moves her face to nestle into Jinsol’s shoulder. Both of her arms come up to hug Jinsol tightly, standing on her toes to be able to press her whole body against Jinsol’s.

 

“I love you, too,” she replies shakily, “I love you so much.”

 

Jinsol feels her heart soar.

 

She presses butterfly kisses on Jungeun’s shoulder, repeating the three words that she’s been thinking of saying for the past few months but never had (until now).

 

-

 

Dinner with Sooyoung goes by perfectly fine.

 

Sooyoung and Jungeun have the same sense of humor ( _mean_ humor), and it makes for a lot of teasing directed towards Jinsol.

 

Cheek kisses from Jungeun and promises of cheeseburgers from Sooyoung are their ways of saying sorry for teaming up on Jinsol.

 

Jinsol accepts them both.

 

 

 

_—_

 

 

 

A dinner that _doesn’t_ go as well is dinner with Jungeun’s mother.

 

“No, Jinsol, I don’t think you understand,” Jungeun says worriedly one night as she and Jinsol discuss their families, “I left the house _as soon_ as I turned eighteen to get away from my mom.”

 

Jinsol frowns at the girl sat in front of her on the couch, “Why?”

 

“She… She wasn’t good for me,” Jungeun mumbles, shrugging, “I don’t expect you to understand—”

 

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

 

“That’s not what I meant—” Jungeun shakes her head, “I’m sorry, I’m _sorry_. Bad wording—I’m just… I don’t like talking about this, okay? It—”

 

“ _Babe_ ,” Jinsol calls out gently, taking Jungeun’s hand in hers and kissing her palm, “don’t get so worked up. It’s just me.”

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun nods, “I know. I _know_. It’s just… this topic puts me on-edge…”

 

Jinsol hums, “Even if our relationship with our families are different, I’d like to get to know yours. _If_ you’d let me.”

 

“Of course,” Jungeun closes her eyes, “I didn’t mean to be condescending earlier with the ‘you wouldn’t understand me’ shit... I’m just… _jealous_ of your relationship with your parents.”

 

Jinsol nods, waiting for her girlfriend to continue talking.

 

“My mom only really calls me to ask for money, but she hasn’t done that in a while” Jungeun sighs, opening her eyes and looking at her lover. She shrugs again, sadly, “other than that, she doesn’t really care much about me.”

 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Jinsol frowns.

 

“No, it’s pretty true…” Jungeun mumbles, “she’s never supported me becoming an actress. She always told me I wouldn’t get anywhere and that I’d just be wasting my time by auditioning for shows and movies.”

 

Jinsol presses another kiss to Jungeun’s hand, this time on her knuckles, “And just look at where you are now.”

 

Jungeun manages a small smile at this, “Yeah…”

 

…

 

“Do you think I could meet her one day?”

 

Jungeun’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, “You’d want to?”

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol says.

 

“Would you meet her as my girlfriend or as my friend?”

 

“Whatever you want me to meet her as,” Jinsol answers.

 

Jungeun nibbles nervously on her lower lip, “She’s… not the most accepting person of gay people.”

 

“Great! Meeting her as your girlfriend it is!”

 

-

 

Mrs. Kim is _visibly_ uncomfortable as they sit at Jungeun’s dinner table together.

 

“Mom, this is Jinsol, my girlfriend,” is what Jungeun had said a few minutes earlier.

 

Nobody’s said a word since then, and Mrs. Kim just stares between her daughter and the blonde girl next to her.

 

…

 

“Is this a joke?”

 

“No, mom—”

 

“I know you were in a movie together and you played girlfriends, but in _real life_ , too?” Mrs. Kim asks, disgust evident in her tone.

 

Jungeun backtracks, “You know about the movie?”

 

“Of _course_ I know about the movie,” Mrs. Kim hisses, “you’re my _daughter_. I watch everything you’re in.”

 

Jinsol looks over to Jungeun, watching her girlfriend’s features soften despite her mother’s angry tone. She sees the surprise and the sadness in her eyes, and raises her eyebrows once they make eye-contact as a way of comforting Jungeun without touching her.

 

Mrs. Kim notices this, notices how Jungeun’s demeanor seems to relax upon looking at Jinsol and how Jinsol’s eyes carry so much love in them…

 

She sighs.

 

“How long has this been… a _thing_?” she asks, still not looking at them.

 

“Almost a year now,” Jungeun answers, “we’re trying to keep it a secret though, mom, so even if you don’t like it—”

 

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Mrs. Kim sneers, offended that her daughter would even assume that she’d go ratting her out. She looks at Jinsol, and then focuses on her daughter, “I may have been a shit mother but I’m not going to ruin your career just because you love her.”

 

Jungeun starts to tear up, and she nods, “Thanks, mom…”

 

Jinsol smiles at the interaction. She clears her throat.

 

“Mrs. Kim, what’s your favorite film that Jungeun’s been in?”

 

Mrs. Kim turns to look at Jinsol, and is slightly shocked to see that the blonde girl is smiling warmly at her despite the rude behavior she’d displayed earlier.

 

“My favorite film?”

 

“Mhm,” Jinsol hums.

 

Jungeun sniffles, scrunching up her nose to get rid of her teary eyes, “I’m curious about this one, too.”

 

Mrs. Kim looks between the girls, admitting under her breath, “It’s the one where you two are lovers.”

 

“ _Lonely_?”

 

“Whatever the name is,” Mrs. Kim waves a hand dismissively, “that one.”

 

“Really?” Jungeun’s eyes widen, “Why?”

 

“Your smiles were genuine in that one,” Mrs. Kim answers, “it was nice to see you so bright during the happy scenes.”

 

“How could you tell?” Jungeun mumbles, “Don’t my smiles all look the same?”

 

“I’m your _mother_ ,” Mrs. Kim huffs, “of course I can tell.”

 

Jinsol grins, and Jungeun finds herself tearing up again.

 

She thinks that maybe, just maybe, Jungeun’s relationship with her mother isn’t too broken to the point where it can’t be fixed. She thinks that, _maybe_ … Jungeun can somewhat start over with her mother.

 

—

 

 ** _[Kim Jungeun is Single and NOT_** **_Ready to Mingle]_**

 

 _Rising actress Kim Jungeun recently stated in an interview with BBC that she is_ **_not_ ** _looking for a partner._

 

_When asked about whether she’s just talking for at the moment, she replied, “I’m just not interested in dating, and I don’t think I will for a very long time. Can I make a PSA in this interview and tell people to stop giving me their numbers?”_

 

—

 

“Jinsol? Baby? Is it not weird that you’re taking me to meet your ex-girlfriend?”

 

“... No…?”

 

“Okay, cool. Just checking.”

 

-

 

After an eventful evening of binge-watching scary movies and eating lots of popcorn, Haseul and Jungeun hug goodbye at the front door. Then, Jungeun says something about starting the car so it’s warm by the time Jinsol gets in before she hurries out of the apartment.

 

Haseul looks at Jungeun’s retreating figure with amusement and turns to Jinsol, who’s already smiling like a love-sick fool. She pretends to gag, and Jinsol smacks her lightly.

 

They share a moment of laughter together and it’s Haseul who quiets down first, sombering down the atmosphere.

 

“You really love her, don’t you?” she asks, staring at Jinsol.

 

Jinsol nods, “So much.”

 

Haseul smiles at this, feeling herself grow proud of Jinsol,  “It’s nice to see you didn’t fuck it up.”

 

Jinsol lets out a loud laugh at this.

 

—

 

Jungeun meets Jinsol’s family on a vacation to one of the Jung’s many beach houses.

 

As expected, they all love Jungeun and welcome her warmly. Jinsol’s mother takes a special liking to Jungeun, whereas Jinsol’s father pretends to be super protective and guarding over his daughter (but Jinsol spots him slipping more food onto Jungeun’s plate, so she knows that he’s just putting an act up).

 

Jungeun lays her head against Jinsol’s chest on the last night they were to spend at the beach house, the two of them laying in bed.

 

“Jinsol?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m really glad you grew up with such a supportive family,” Jungeun says. There’s no jealousy in her tone, no snark, nothing to make Jinsol guilty (not that she has a reason to be).

 

“Why do you suddenly say that?” Jinsol asks curiously.

 

Jungeun hums, “You deserve to be surrounded by such amazing people, that’s all.”

 

“Hey,” Jinsol nudges Jungeun’s waist, “same goes to you.”

 

“Yeah, well, I have _you_ , don’t I?” Jungeun looks up.

 

Jinsol lets out a breath of amusement, nodding, “Yeah, you do.”

 

Jungeun smiles, leaning up at the same time that Jinsol leans down, sealing their lips in a kiss.

  


_—_

  


“Oh, shit…” Sooyoung whispers as she stares at her phone. Jinsol, who’s on the couch next to her, sits up.

 

“What happened?” she asks, expecting Sooyoung to spew out some new gossip.

 

“Jungeun got into a car accident,” is what she says instead, and it makes Jinsol’s entire body go frigid, “she’s been rushed to the hospital but—”

 

Jinsol shoots up from the couch, “Drive me there. Now.”

 

-

 

“Family only,” the nurse at the front desk says, “I’m sorry.”

 

Jinsol fights back the curse on her tongue, ignores everyone staring at her because she literally ran into the hospital and up to the front desk asking for Jungeun’s room-number.

 

“I _am_ her family,” Jinsol hisses, “I’m—”

 

She’s cut short when she looks down the hall and spots Jungeun’s mother standing there, staring at her.

 

Jinsol can feel herself starting to tremble.

 

She’s prepared to admit defeat and walk away, but the woman walks closer and turns to the nurse.

 

“She’s family,” she says to Jinsol’s surprise.

 

Jinsol feels tears falling down her cheeks as Jungeun’s mother waves her closer.

 

“Is she okay? What happened?” Jinsol asks worriedly, feeling the woman’s arm wrap around her waist, “All they told me was that she got into an accident, I don’t—”

 

“Jungeun would want you to say good-bye to her,” is what Jungeun’s mother says.

 

Jinsol’s eyes widen, “What? You’re saying…”

 

“She’s on life-support.”

 

Jinsol would’ve fallen to the ground had it not been for the older woman’s hold on her.

 

They enter the elevator in tense silence.

 

“No…” Jinsol whimpers.

 

Jungeun’s mother presses the button for the third floor.

 

“She can’t… She can’t be…”

 

“The doctors said they tried everything they could,” Mrs. Kim whispers. She tightens her grip on Jinsol, the two of them holding back the sobs that they so desperately want to let out, “I’ve decided—”

 

“ _No_ ,” Jinsol cuts her off, “no, don’t say that you’re going to pull the plug on her. _Don’t_.”

 

“She’s gone, Jinsol,” the woman says quietly, more to herself, “I’m her _mother_ . You don’t think this hurts me, too? My daughter’s only alive because of a machine right now. She can’t live on her own. She’s gone, Jinsol. She’s _gone_.”

 

Jinsol physically feels her heart break. She feels an ache that ripples through her body so intensely, feels something inside of her twist and snap as Mrs. Kim starts to cry.

 

“No… _no…_ ”

 

The elevator door opens.

 

Mrs. Kim practically drags Jinsol down the hall, towards the room Jungeun’s currently being held in.

 

“I’ll let you say goodbye to her.”

 

As the door opens, Jinsol feels the pain inside of her increase tenfold at the love of her life lying motionlessly in the hospital bed.

 

“No,” Jinsol cries, pulling herself away from Mrs. Kim and kneeling down besides Jungeun.

 

She takes hold of Jungeun’s hand and brings it to her own cheek, pressing kisses on the girl’s cold palm and ignoring the way her tears drip down onto her skin, “Jungeun, _Jungeun_.”

 

“Baby, please,” Jinsol whimpers, “please don’t leave me. It’s too early—it’s _too early_ , you can’t—”

 

She chokes on her own breath.

 

The only response Jinsol gets is the wheezing of the machine keeping Jungeun alive and the steady and, ironically, lifeless beeps from the heartbeat monitor.

 

Jinsol cries, weeping into Jungeun’s hand, positioning it as if Jungeun were cupping her cheek, but Jinsol knows that Jungeun’s not there anymore. The revelation that Jungeun’s gone sinks into her—and it keeps sinking, dragging her down with it as she closes her eyes and presses her forehead against the edge of the bed, unable to stare at Jungeun’s colorless face for much longer without feeling that same ache grow sharper and sharper.

 

She lets out sob after sob, her entire body shaking. It feels as if her throat’s been scratched with sandpaper and her eyes start to burn with each tear that gets squeezed out.

 

“We were supposed to get married,” Jinsol whimpers, the salty taste of her tears on her tongue as she continues to talk, “we were supposed to have kids—we were supposed to grow old together, Jungeun—we…”

 

Jinsol looks up, vision clouded by the tears being produced.

 

She leans her face further into Jungeun’s hand.

 

“We were supposed to be endless.”

 

…

 

No response.

 

-

 

When the heartbeat monitor flatlines, Jinsol stares at the woman’s lifeless face, gripping her pale hand with both of her own and wishing for a universe in which their love exceeds the confinements of life and death.

  
  
  


—

  
  
  


**_[Jung Jinsol’s Love for Kim Jungeun]_ **

 

_Jung Jinsol recently passed away due to natural causes. Following her death, she’s published a book titled ‘Endless’. Apparently, Jinsol’s been writing this book ever since the death of Kim Jungeun nearly twenty years ago._

 

_Here’s an excerpt from the book._

 

_“It wasn’t until I joined the entertainment industry that I realized loving someone could be lethal. I never realized that my choice in loving someone wholeheartedly could literally make or break my career—except I never did consider loving Jungeun a choice. I still don’t._

 

_My feelings for Jungeun had always been an inevitable, and as much as I tried to stop the inevitable, I couldn’t. And I’m so glad that I couldn’t. I got to love Jungeun with my entire being, up until her very last breath._

 

_I hope she knew before she passed that I would love her until my own very last breath.”_

 

_According to Jung Jinsol’s family, she had two last wishes. The first one had been for this book to be published. The second one was for her to be buried next to Jungeun._

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @sxft_aus  
> curiouscat: @sxft_aus
> 
> please do leave your thoughts! i started writing this 190124 and it's currently 190404 so :3 this has been a fic that's been on my mind a lot and writing it helped relieve a lot of stress for myself. i really do hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
>  
> 
> also, for anyone who wants it:
> 
> Plot for Lonely: Jisoo (Jinsol) and Hyunjoo (Jungeun) are two girls destined together by the red string of fate, but as fate has it, they meet at an inconvenient time for both of them. Their first relationship is rushed and awkward, troubled by all sorts of things that make them incompatible with each other. Jisoo starts to lack faith in fate because she and Hyunjoo didn’t work out.
> 
> This movie showcases the journey that these two girls go on together (and apart).


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